The Never-ending Nightmare

Was I shocked this weekend when it was revealed that Alex Rodriguez, arguably the best baseball player of his generation, [allegedly] tested positive for steroids in 2003?*

Nope.

One of the things I've discovered in my relatively short life is that anyone is capable of anything. I think it's my job as a minister that gives me a better vantage point from which to declare this, as I see people not only at their best but at their worst. We pedestal people far too often, placing them above the fray, so that when we discover they're actually human— we're crushed. I've been guilty of this numerous times in the past and am finally getting to the point that where I find no hidden vice shocking.

I've never been an A-Rod fan, but I've never been a hater either. I admired his immense skill, especially in the midst of cheaters. And I constantly felt sorry for him because he seemed uncomfortable in his own skin.** He is the coolest kid in class, but doesn't know it.

Look at his off-the-field actions over the year and you see a guy that is desperately trying to solidify his social standing. Why date a past-her-prime Madonna? Because someone might be impressed. Why tear down other teammates through the media? Because the worst they look, the better you appear. From what I heard on the radio earlier [I have no link to this], the steroid A-Rod took was actually a cosmetic one; apparently, it wouldn't bulk him up to hit the ball harder, but would improve the way his body looked. If this is true, it proves my assertion that he has a low-self image. Yes, friends, the man that supposedly every man wanted to be and every woman wanted to be with, is terribly insecure.

And for all of us, even for those non-baseball fans still reading, there are a couple of valuable lesson here to learn here. First, just because a person seems to have it all-together doesn't mean they really do. Just watching the Grammys last night reinforced this. Even the coolest people in the world continually try to maintain/create their own relevancy. What did Paul McCartney need to prove last night that he needed to perform an old Beatles song? No matter what McCartney does now could increase his standing as a part of his band. But he, too, wants to still be noticed. Like A-Rod, he just wants to be loved. This is why I believe that the most healthy self-image is one grounded in Jesus. If I really believe the teachings of Scriptures, my self-worth is centered in Christ, so I should know that I truly AM LOVED. Leave it to me to go from steroids to the Beatles to Jesus, but I sincerely believe this to be true.

The second lesson I observe is in relationship to the broader issue of steroids in baseball. Among the steroid-users that we've discovered in baseball, it's dominated by names who were already star athletes, poised for baseball immortality. Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens didn't need steroids to make it to the Hall of Fame. They were the best of the best, and yet they could not control their competitive drive when it came time to decide if they should cheat. No matter who you are, nor how much talent or resources you have, the temptation to take a shortcut is always enticing. If anything, in my view, this cements Ken Griffey Jr as the greatest player of the past two decades. Sure, I was frustrated at his performance here in Cincinnati, but a cheater he wasn't.***

All this right as pitchers and catchers report next week. It's too sad. I'm just hoping baseball will survive so that my kids when be at least somewhat interested in it.

_________________

* While this is still only allegation, my belief in its truthfulness is bolstered by the fact that A-Rod has remained silent. If a rumor like this were false, he would've been on ESPN within the hour to refute it.

** Someone might suggest the feeling sympathy for a person who will make over half-a-billion dollars in his career is ridiculous. I would counter that holding this perspective is just as classist as looking down on the impoverished. People are people, no matter what they have or don't.

*** The Reds have stayed relatively clean throughout this steroid witch-hunt. Even though there was one obscure Cincinnati Red in the Mitchell Report who used, he had previously spent some time in New York and that's how they nailed him. I tend to think that the Pete Rose/gambling/personal trainer relationship which caused his banishment from baseball led local people who would deal 'roids to back away from the ballclub all-together fearing authorities getting into their business. Then there's the tale of Brett Boone who was a twig when he was here in Cincy, left town, bulked up, then hit almost 40 home runs in a season. While Boone denies it, he'd better hope he's not another one of the names on this 2003 steroid list.

Livebloggin' the Grammys

What to do on a Sunday night where you're physically exhausted?

Live blog the Grammys of course.

Fortunately, we have the DVR, so I can go all the way through while skipping through the commercials [although I'm not sure if watching on delay allows me to label this as "live" blogging]. Let 'er rip.

1. Opening up with the new U2 song. Love the sound, will buy the CD, not sure about Bono's choreography, however. It starting to look more and more like he needs John Madden's [BOOM] tough actin' Tinactin.

2. I thought Bono was joking about Whitney Houston when he finished his song. He was actually introducing her. I'm not sure I give her a live microphone at K-Mart, let alone at the Grammy's. I keep hearing the Mad TV parody in my head of Whitney shouting, "Bobby!"

3. Glad that Jennifer Hudson is getting her life back on track. But you can't miss the obvious: her dress looks like she went to the dentist and forgot to take off her bib.

4. Remember when Boyz 2 Men were on top of the world? Now they're relegated to back up singer status. Wait a minute: Whitney Houston to Bobby Brown to Boyz 2 Men. What are we missing? Some Bell Biv Devoe!

5. Loves me some Hova with my Coldplay. When Jay-Z comes back wearin' the FOUR-FIVE, it ain't to play games with you. I will admit that I'm tiring of Coldplay right now. Feels like they've played this album live in every conceivable venue.

6. With Carrie Underwood we're thirty minutes in and two American Idol contestants. Wondering how high this total will go. Praying for a Sanjaya appearance.

7. Keeping everyone in the loop: Sheryl Crow is now a country music singer. I think Kid Rock is too . . . and George Jones is pissed. Speaking of Kid Rock, I need to know who's buying his albums. Full disclosure: I loved Bawitdaba, but he was a rapper then. Just like I'm not going to pay to Michael Phelps run, I'm not going to recognize Kid (nor Kanye West for that matter) as a legitimate singer. And now, listening to Miley Cyrus, I'm thinking she needs to added to that list. Going head-to-head with Taylor Swift was not a great idea. NOTE: the coolest thing about this previous paragraph is the "Bawitdaba" is actually in the Wordpress Spell Check.

8. So Robert Plant doesn't want a Led Zepplin reunion but he'll sing country music? I'm loosing my mind.

9. Admit it: the way the Jonas brothers were standing around Stevie Wonder, you were hoping they'd drop, "Jammin' on the One."

10. Metallica and Coldplay in the same Rock category? Considering neither James Hetfield nor Lars Ulrich showed up, I think they knew the inevitable.

11. Why does watching Katy Perry make me feel embarrassed for her? Her performance looked like they gave a twelve-year old girl four minutes to run around a stage. Kelly and I are still thoroughly confused by her obsession with fruit.

12. Kenny Chesney = Fastforward DVR.

13. I have a new dream: that my very pregnant wife will be able to rap with TI, Kanye, Lil' Wayne and Hova while wearing a polka-dot bikini type thing like M-I-A. It's tough to look thug when you look like a cartoon character.

14. I LOVE THE FOO!!!! Still confused: who was that old dude singing the Beatles tunes?

15. The live feed didn't appreciate John Mayer winning the award. I cannot disagree.

16. Love it when the recording academy dude comes out and talks. In the midst of so many cool people, his appearance is definitely the "one of these people is doing their own thing" moment. Using "Yes We Can" throughout his speech probably seemed like a good idea, but it was just out-of-touch awkward. And I love that he thinks he can give a serious speech asking for political concessions from the President immediately after TI just got bleeped for his potty mouth.

17. Neil Diamond, on the other hand, still incredibly relevant . . . creepy, but relevant. I'm stoked that they mic'd the audience because you could hear the "BA! BA! BAH!"

18. Justin Timberlake > Robin Thicke

19. This letter left over from the Super Bowl commercial they just ran:

Dear Pepsi,

Seriously, no matter how bad his current live show is, Bob Dylan will never be will.i.am's equal.

Sincerely, Steve

20. Sad: I fastforwarded through Robert Plant [w/Allison Kraus]. And they won album of the year? This leads me to believe that my grandmother has yet to relinquish her Grammy vote.

Stevie Wonder plays us off. We finally caught up to the broadcast at the very end, meaning that we were able to watch the program commerical free and finish before midnight. Overall, nice show. No matter how bad parts are, I always enjoy the Grammys. Now the real contest: will Neil Diamond make the top ten of downloaded songs on iTunes tomorrow?

Beware the Harpies!

A couple of Saturday mornings ago the family was lounging in bed. Kaelyn was reading some books and Kelly and I were trying to see if there was anything on television that could occupy our attention. After three or four cycles of flipping through the channels, we noticed Stephen Baldwin in a movie.

Believe it or not, this was enough to stop us in our tracks.

Besides his well-known born-again Christian lifestyle, the only exposure we had with the youngest Baldwin was his stint on Celebrity Apprentice. His appearance in the Trump's reality show [and, yes, I will DVR the newest edition of the show as I find it train-wreck-like fascinating] made us wonder how this guy can claim to have an acting career. Since The Usual Suspects was carried by an amazing script and Kevin Spacey, and since we missed out on Bio-Dome [or did we?], Kel and I decided to give this movie a try.

It took as a commercial break to determine what we were watching. It was actually on the Sci-Fi channel, a 2007 movie entitled: Stan Lee's The Harpies. If you are unfamiliar with Stan Lee [you probably have a life], he is the creator of such iconic comic book characters as Spider-Man, The Incredible Hulk and the Fantastic Four. So you'd have to figure that even if Baldwin didn't have the acting chops, a Stan Lee script could redeem the film, right?

No. Not at all. In fact, I would have to nominate this as one of the worst movies ever.

Yet even though the blessing of digital cable provides us with almost 150 channels of entertainment, Kelly and I chose to watch the entire flick. We could not look away. It was so horrendously bad that it was thoroughly compelling. Do you doubt me? Feast on these clips from the movie here and here and become a believer.

It reeks of a rip-off of Bruce Campbell's Army of Darkness, as Baldwin's security officer character is teleported back to the mythological Middle Ages. He has access to a pistol and sawed-off shotgun, which he wields in a way that testifies to his unfamiliarity with firearms. His goal: to get back to the future. Of course, along the way, he's forced to fight an evil overlord and his harpies, which are described by someone somewhere [sorry, no citation] as flying Amy Winehouses. SPOILER ALERT: he makes it back and wins the girl.

While the CGI is painful to watch, the constant overacting by the cast and underacting by Baldwin overpower the lack of technology. Seriously, I've seen middle school plays that contain better dramatization. In short: it has everything needed to be deemed the worst movie ever, especially as it was somehow created to be a serious film.

Enticed? The block out 90 minutes of your life and watch it on Japanese YouTube here. I'm sure the subtitles could get annoying, but the quality of this movie's presentation will naturally cause them to fall by the wayside. I'd be delighted to hear from others who have seen this cinematographic masterpiece.

Romans 11:33

So that you may be fully aware, we are expecting again.

This is exciting news because . . . well, it's exciting. And, no, this is not mere retaliation against those who ceaselessly prodded us with, "when are you gonna have another?" On Thursday Kelly was at the doctor and, even at this early stage in the pregnancy, they found the tiny heartbeat. Observe the picture above and consider that, while our little one is about the size of a blueberry, it has a heartbeat. That's breathtaking. Try to tell me there is no God.

Yet in the midst of our joy is some fear. A call from the doctor informed us that Kelly is not producing enough progesterone. This hormone is important as it is the "power source" for the baby until the placenta forms. She is now taking a prescription that is supposed to boost this. If this level does not increase, there is the possibility that Kelly could miscarry.

This is the type of information that is usually kept inward just in case "something" happens, but both Kelly and I feel like sharing it. Too many times we try to bear these burdens alone and not include the support structure around us. As Christians, we believe strongly that one of the purposes of the family of believers is to rely on each other when times get tough. And that is exactly what we want from you, our friends and family— continue to BE our church. No, you don't need to call or send a rightly-worded email. Just do one simple thing: pray for this baby. This is a life, and we desperately want the opportunity to meet it in person.

So thanks in advance for the congratulations and encouragement. We love you deeply. We would greatly appreciate your prayers. God is good.

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out!"

Double Halfway

Green or white?

The difference isn't as stark until you reach the corner of Woodburn and Madison. Just four blocks north of where our church meets is beautiful DeSales Corner, a hidden gem in our city. The business leaders in East Walnut Hills [those who dwell in East Walnut Hills tend to stress that geographic qualifier] have been investing in this corner for years and it takes center stage during the Flying Pig Marathon.

And that's where the difference between green and white become somewhat important. Those participating in the race are assigned a runner's bib with a number; the bibs are white for those running the full marathon and green for those running the half marathon.

Last year I decided to give long distance running a shot and chose to run the half. Both courses follow the same route through downtown and up Walnut Hills until DeSales Corner. Here the white bibbers turn right to proceed up Madison towards Hyde Park and the green bibbers turn left onto what becomes MLK and return to downtown. I think it was at this point last year that I started to think about going the distance and running the full marathon. As I was preparing for my green-bibbed left turn, I glanced over at the people running the 26.2 and thought, "I could do that." I wondered if that was just the adrenaline/testosterone following that would wane after a few months, but it didn't. It seems like the next logical mountain to climb.

So today, in the midst of our winter storm, I announce my candidacy to run in the Flying Pig Marathon. I'm registering online today so I can get the early bird rate. I started my training this month, not missing any sessions until this snow/ice. So far, so good. Running in the cold has never been my thing, but I've adjusted well to it. Of course, there's still three months to go.

I never felt like my body was built for long distance running, nor did I ever really enjoy it, so I'm not quite sure why I've decided to do this. But I'm going to have a good time with it.

Come May 3rd, I'll be wearing white and turning right.

Definitely Not The Messiah

I have yet to mention the media's Obamagasm on Tuesday here on the blog*

True, it's an excited time for this country and I witnessed many, many people locally who were living it up as if it was the greatest day in world history. I'll admit to having the TV on while working, although I always try to catch portions of the inauguration no matter who won the election. It's always a great day for our country as it reaffirms the ideal that violence need not be associated with the transfer of power.

As for our new President's speech, I wasn't really impressed. He employed the same old political rhetoric that accompanies such a victory, which Jon Stewart pointed out mimicked material that George W. Bush used to drop. I still hold that Obama has yet to rise to the occasion as he did in his speech on race at Philadelphia last year.

These first two paragraphs may come off as sour grapes from me, something rather peculiar as I really didn't have a horse in last year's election [I voted 3rd party, thank you]. I obviously have some differences with our current President on certain political issues which affords me the opportunity to keep a well-balanced perspective on his actions. Whereas some will claim he's the anti-Christ [wrong] still others will anoint him as Messiah [wrong, wrong]. Since I've heard much more of the latter as of late from my vantage point, I thought I'd acknowedge our President's first official lapse of reason in his short term.

Yesterday was the anniversary of the Roe vs Wade ruling which legalized abortion in our country. While I acknowledge that there are many different perspectives held by readers of this blog on the subject, understand that I believe abortion to be wrong, among other reasons, that it is an infringement on the rights of the unborn for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Unfortunately, our new President chose his first days in office to overturn a Bush adminstration policy on American funding for abortions in foreign countries. I fully understand that this pro-choice view is one that Mr Obama held while campaiging, so I can't say that I was surprised by it. What truly shocked me, however, was the apology he offered for such a move.

In order to seize the moment, Obama issued a release highlighting the important need for women to have the right to choose to abort their fetus. The full-statment can be found here, but allow me to quote from the concluding paragraph of his statement:

"On this anniversary, we must also recommit ourselves more broadly to ensuring that our daughters have the same rights and opportunities as our sons: the chance to attain a world-class education; to have fulfilling careers in any industry; to be treated fairly and paid equally for their work; and to have no limits on their dreams. That is what I want for women everywhere."

And right there, friends, is a sad, sad statement.

Read between the lines here and discern what he is really saying: if he wants to ensure "that our daughters have the same rights and opportunities as our sons" what are the rights and opportunities to which he's referring? What rights do women gain with the ability to abort that put them on equal footing with their male counterparts?

Rather simply, it's the right to walk away from a sexual experience with absolutely no responsibility. So the goal, if you believe what is written, is to allow women to partake in the abhorant practice of absentee parentism that many males already practice. This is ironic as Mr Obama decried absentee fatherhood as a reason for the deteriorating inner-city.

And this is even more ironic as the overarching theme of the inaugural speech was that we Americans need to reclaim the responsibility for our country that was seemingly abandoned during the Bush administration. You cannot challenge people towards a heightened patriotic responsibility while condoning irresponsibility in their private lives.

I'm not going to sit on the perch for the next eight years and judge every move that our leader makes.* But it is worth noting here at the beginning that, while the euphoria has yet to wear off, this guy is very human. He is flawed. He will make mistakes. In short, even though the packaging is different, he's really not that different at all. To quote the Who (and a line I've been singing all week), "meet the new boss, same as the old boss."

_____________

*I realize that this term "Obamagasm" [which I haven't heard yet, but I doubt is original with me] that I used might seem to denegrate the idea that we should be proud of our country at this time. I do not think so. I love living in a country where there is now verifiable truth that anyone can be elected to our highest office. But I believe that the mainstream media went above and beyond this truth to virtual deification. One small item proving this is the greatly inflated attendance numbers of the event. Trust me: in eight years when Obama leaves office, the inaugaration of the next President will receive nowhere near the same amount of press as this past week.

**I continue to say eight years with the understanding that, unless the economy stays at the current level for four years [which I cannot envision happening], our current President will be a two-termer.

I'm Just Not That Into It

So I've been struggling to write on the blog lately. Almost two weeks since my last post. While there's no one reason for my silence, I think I recognize the issues surrounding my sloth.

First, I've been pretty busy. Teaching is a blast, but it consumes more time than I imagined. Currently, I'm teaching my fifth course for my alma mater and it's been a new topic every time. These are accelerated courses, which meet weekly for four hours a night over five weeks. So since August I've had to prepare for 100 hours of lecture time. And since I'm one of those people who try to have visuals to go with my teaching, I prepare PowerPoint [well, actually Mac's Keynote] to accompany all of those lectures. And that's not even mentioning grading papers. Fortunately, the rest of the classes I'll teach this semester are ones I've already taught, so some relief is in sight. Combine this with family life and my "day job" and time from writing is pretty scarce.

Second, sticking with this issue, teaching allows me an outlet with which to express my ideas. That's one of the things this blog has awarded me. I enjoy flexing my creative abilities here, but it takes some work. I want to be thorough, thoughtful, and (if I'm trying to be funny) hilarious. When I'm already doing this for class, writing a blog post seems like a chore. And I refuse to make this a chore. So if it feels like too much work. I'm gonna let the blog posting slide to the wayside.

Third, I want to keep this blog diversified. While I love to keep everyone up-to-date on the minutiae that is my life, I also want to express deeper thoughts. I think I could keep more content coming if I just wrote about me but [I swear] I'm not THAT conceited. So if I can't write stuff that's worth reading, then I'm probably not going to write at all.

So there it is: there's not as much going on here write now. I appreciate you taking the time to check in and apologize that I'm in a bit of a writing funk. I promise I'll work my way out of it.

Nobody Wins

The court of public opinion was a lot of sway, and right now Israel is taking it on the chin.

Our global connectedness is allowing the world to witness the Israel-Hamas conflict in real-time and the scene of children dying will always grip the conscience. I saw the results today when I read the blog of a [rather orthodox] theologian who urged people to email the UN [or something like that] to tell Israel to halt their assault.

The Israeli government is not perfect. We saw it first-hand when we were in the country. Their day-to-day actions against the Palestinians would not be tolerated here in America. But ours is a problem of perspective: living in Israel is indeed nothing like America. The Jews, within the last sixty years, have seen multiple attempts at their annihilation and are n a region where they are surrounded by countries who hate them. True, our country has provided them with the firepower to be the strongest nation in the Middle East but, if not for that weaponry, they would certainly have been destroyed by now.

It is that might that gets thrust in our faces in the media. They are viewed as the tyrants as children die and people starve. But before you pass judgement, look behind the scenes. I am not an Alan Dershowtiz fan, but his statements concerning the conflict need to be observed. He notes that even though this is being displayed as a one-sided affair, it is actually Hamas who is not playing fair. For instance,

In a recent incident related to me by the former head of the Israeli air force, Israeli intelligence learned that a family's house in Gaza was being used to manufacture rockets. The Israeli military gave the residents 30 minutes to leave. Instead, the owner called Hamas, which sent mothers carrying babies to the house.

Hamas knew that Israel would never fire at a home with civilians in it. They also knew that if Israeli authorities did not learn there were civilians in the house and fired on it, Hamas would win a public relations victory by displaying the dead. Israel held its fire. The Hamas rockets that were protected by the human shields were then used against Israeli civilians.

Not so cut and dry, eh? Especially when Hamas does something that Israel would never do: intentionally target schools. Another must-read article from yesterday's London Times adds perspective to this position: Israel loses no matter how it reacts. Add that to the fact that even the media is being duped into believing that they're committing atrocities that they didn't even commit and you can see why this conflict has no simple answers.

That's the sad part: innocent people die and there is no solution in sight. There will never truly be peace in the Middle East, which is yet another reason why I choose to embrace the Prince of Peace.

A Year of Kaelyn

I know I'll be smarting from UC's Orange Bowl loss for weeks to come. So since I'm feeling down, I need a pick me up and figure now would be a good time to reveal my project from last year.

Starting a year ago, I decided I would take a picture of Kaelyn for everyday of 2008. I started off pretty strong . . .

. . . I missed my first day in the first week of January.

After I realized that there was no way I'd have the discipline to take these pictures every single day, I just kept the camera handy so I could get as many as I could; I decided that even if I wasn't totally consistent, it would still give me a great overview of how Kaelyn grew over the year. I'm extremely glad I did it, as there are some great stories behind the pictures. One day, Kaelyn might really appreciate it.

I really tailed off near the end of the year, but took her picture on 265 days of '08. I threw them together in a video, added some tunes. I like result. She's a photogenic kid.

Because I added music that Youtube doesn't like, the one there had the tunes I picked out removed from it. If you have Quicktime downloaded on your computer, you can enjoy the full experience as intended here. Otherwise, enjoy the safe-for-Youtube, cheezy public-domain music background here.

I know the New Year already started, but this might be a project some of you might want to try. I'm sure many of you would do much better in sticking with it.

Wrapping Up '08

You know you're getting old when you leave a New Year's party at 10pm. Getting a sitter on New Year's Eve seemed too much of a task and Kaelyn had a good time anyway [thanks Melissa and Emily!]. But this extra time allowed me the opportunity to squeak one more post out of this year.

Overall, I loved 2008. As Frank would say, it was a very good year. I had the opportunity to travel to Dallas, St Louis and Louisville a couple of times. I caught a foul ball, had someone pay for my photography, made it on ESPN.com and even redesigned the blog. Great times.

I will also remember 2008 as the year I crammed my brain with more information than I thought I was capable of consuming. I'm wrapping up this Masters degree at X [will graduate in May] and started teaching at my alma mater. Although I read fewer books, I gleaned a ton of new material. This is transforming me; I actually feel like I'm starting to get a feel for my ministry style.

And speaking of this, I feel like I had a great professional year. At the beginning of the year, we knew some key people would leave Echo and it would be difficult. Even though this was scary, we knew God would provide for us. And He has in big ways. We made our [increased] budget and have some new people who are really energizing our congregation. It is very cool. This past fall, we eclipsed two personal milestones:

1) Echo is now the longest ministry that we've held. Surpassing three years doesn't seem like much, but this is where we plan on spending the rest of our lives. Also, we really "feel" this ministry. There is not the slightest doubt in me that if someone offered me the "perfect ministry gig" [high pay, little work, national acclaim], I would turn it down. This ministry is perfect for me. We feel completely at home.

2) We've lived in the same place longer than we ever have in our marriage. We discussed maybe upsizing here, and finding a house in the neighborhood, but there's no good reason for it except to maybe give Kaelyn a yard. But we've realized that she has everything she needs to make her a normal, healthy little girl. And we love our neighbors. And since I finally changed my drivers license yesterday to our current address, I think we're pretty settled.

So while I'm sad to close the door on such a good year, I'm sure there's another one right around the corner.

Happy New Year!

A Haiku'd Birthday

I had the best birthday today, as my day was constantly interrupted by others’ creativity. My haiku challenge was accepted by almost forty different people and they did not disappoint. The response was so good, I decided to award multiple awards.

THIRD PLACE: Carlton Farmer Man cries out his name The Earth calmly whispers back I know who you are

This one is just frickin’ cool. Good work, Carlton

SECOND PLACE: Melissa Hill I have written five haiku. Which one will I post on your day of birth?

(Answer: All of them. No, they don't all fit together. I'm not that bored. But they are all classical 5-7-5 because I'm a nerd. This is what happens when I take the day off work and am unable to sleep in.) I can count sylla- bles on my fingers. Are you impressed? You should be...  Read More.

Haiku are simple, but I like a challenge. So, next year: villanelles.

Your birthday is my parents' anniversary. Isn't that special?

Sunday night, Diet Coke in hand. Talking... talking. "Is it Monday yet?"

Thirty-three. Wow. Yikes. Be careful with your new Wii; you might break a hip.

Melissa doesn’t earn second place because of mere volume. No, she took the prize because of the Diet Coke comment. This is how I preach and I never really thought about it much before. Great observation.

FIRST PLACE: Kelly Carr Aren’t you so fancy To think of this little game? Here, I’ll humor you

In vain I create Something great so I can win I'm competitive

Birthday cheers to you This is your gift by the way So enjoy it now

I could get mushy Really, what would be the point? You know how I feel

I’d wax eloquent But it is my vacation So my brain’s shut off

Instead I’ll just write Steve, you always rock my world (Yes, that’s what she said.)

Yeah, you might think the contest was rigged since my wife won, but admit it: the use of “that’s what she said” cemented her victory.

Thanks, everyone for making my day great. Isn't the world a better place when people are creative? Here’s the rest in case they someday get lost in the Facebook black hole.

Eric Riggs Eleven o'clock A Haiku, then bed for me You have lots of friends. Shannon Perkins Smith Hey Steve, here's my wish Happy flippin' birthday freak Joy to you this year Shawn Wuske I missed your phone call About watching the Bearcats Come and join the fun

Sara Faison Another year gone Hope this next year is the best Happy Birthday Steve

Amy Lyday Campbell i suck at haiku but since it is your birthday here is your haiku

Mark Campbell You don't rock my world But your still pretty awesome Have a super day!!!!!

Jeffrey Worthen the cow moos tonight moo moo moo moo moo moo moo the cow moos tonight Robert Gee YADHTRIB YPPAH UOY OT YADHTRIB YPPAH STRUH NIARB YM

Martha Hill Happy Birthday Steve on my Anniversary a very good day!

Melissa Mingie [HONORABLE MENTION FOR HUMORING THE OLD MAN] This is kinda lame But I'll humor the old man Happy Birthday Steve

David McCoy Los cumpleaños felices a usted, los cumpleaños felices a usted cumpleaños Felices Steve Kristi Mendenhall You know you are cool Ur makin' me want to drool maybe use the stool

i'm glad you were born c c u ah...makes one torn go'head toot your horn

Emily Hill Happy Birthday Steve I think you're really crazy And I am awesome

Melody White-Riggs Steve, Happy Birthday What fun this game is to play Even though I stink

Tye VonAllmen Dust in the wind Pizza is my favorite fruit I love to skate Sarah Elizabeth Mitchell I suck at writing But Steve you are way too cool So, Have a great day!

Rob Brown You and your sister were born just a day apart? What's nine months before?

A Birthday Haiku That is a dumb idea I will not do it Brent Colwick Your birthday is great Peanut Butter Sandwiches That's what I'm screamin'

Alicia Gee Happy Birthday to Steve. I think that is all I need to say, Yea!

Carrie Furnish I'm not that creative But I'll give it my best shot Have a great birthday!

Adam Allman Your birthday is when Oh my you are now how old Still have time to say..... Rick Moore I like you more then three clicks and 13 letters Happy Birthday Steve!

Chris French My glad birthday wish May end up stinking like fish Next to all others

Becky Smyth i'll try to be cool with a fun birthday greeting that rhymes a bit too!

Audrey Morrison A trip to Ikea and a large Diet Coke Makes a Fabulous Birthday

Laura Stevens Another year young Loved by family and friends Happy Birthday Steve

Daniel Becker Walnut Hills beckons Reverend Kemper's estate and the House of Carr

Matt Coulter with motion forward time mocks the year-barer's mind "age well, Steve, age well"

Jon Weatherly Birthday tomorrow. Youth yields to gray middle age. Stubborn ear hairs sprout. Markus Watson I dislike haiku I wish you wouldn't want it Still, Happy Birthday Lori Rutherford Friend of my brother, Happy Birthday from Cali! Glad you are still fun! Jason Powell Entiendes no? Feliz Cumpleanos Steve Bendiciones Tim Reed happy birthday hap happy birthday happy birth happy birthday hap

Dave Little You are a great pal Skyline unites us Refrigerator

Chad Powers [HONORABLE MENTION FOR GOOD STORY] Playing center field Steve runs fast to catch the ball Fence, nose, ouch, blood, dizzy Daniel Smyth [HONORABLE MENTION FOR INCLUSION OF LEMMINGS] It makes me so sad To think that lemmings are dead It was all a lie.

Happy Birthday Steve You are aging well I hope Way to live this long.

With age comes wisdom Or say they tell me is true You may be a sage.

This is the last verse So I better make it good Your parents like March.

John and JoLynn Handel Steve is thirty-something And has no taste in sports Someday he will learn

Important News About My Birthday

OK, so my birthday is coming this Tuesday.

In previous years, I wouldn't mention it this early, but the advent of Facebook means that I'll soon be inundated with birthday greetings on my wall. Lest I speak over the head of you non-Facebookers who are reading this, a "wall greeting" is a simple instant message you leave on another person's account for all the world to see. These wall messages always increase exponentially around one's birthday, as Facebook lets you know when your friends' birthdays are coming.

The challenge I embrace when leaving a birthday greeting on someone's wall is to flee from the ordinary. If I see it's someone's birthday, I want to let them know that I've actually thought about them and didn't mindlessly drop a simple "Happy Birthday" on their wall. Seriously, what does this prove? I guess it shows that 1) I check my Facebook account too often and 2) I like you enough to click three times and type 13 letters.

I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I don't want your plain old birthday greeting on my birthday. Don't get me wrong: I appreciate that you're thinking about me but I'll be disappointed if you settle for being a lemming.* My birthday wish this year is that you stretch yourself and perhaps improve your Facebook skills in the process.

So the important news about my birthday? For my birthday, you need to give me a haiku.

You know what a haiku is, right? Basically, it's a small poem that does not have to keep meter. The traditional Japanese haiku 5-7-5 layout is syllable-based and has a few other rules. I don't need all those other rules to be followed. Just adapt to the English arrangement which is defined as:

Use of three (or fewer) lines of 17 or fewer syllables

Here are some generic examples I found on the interwebs:

Steady spring rain -- A tree takes shape At dawn

There is a small mouse, He lives in a windy mill, He is so happy.

You see, it's not hard. And you don't need to do it perfectly. Just give it a chance and show us your creativity. Write a little birthday haiku [it doesn't even need to be about me] and post it on my Facebook wall. And you non-Facebookers can participate by leaving a comment here on my blog. At the end of my birthday, I will pick my favorite haiku and give that person my sincere respect and the honor of my Facebook status for the following day.

This might sound like a conceited request, and it might very well be. But if you're really going to take the time to write me a birthday wish, make it original.

That's all I want. Get to work.

________________

*In case you never knew this, the myth that lemmings follow the pack aimlessly off cliffs was concocted by the Walt Disney Company. The documentary crew flung those critters off a cliff to make it look better for TV. Makes what happened to Bambi's mom seem less diabolicle, huh?

Happy Merry Christmas!

[at least that's how Kaelyn would phrase it]

Christ is born, and we're rather happy about it. Even attended a Christmas Eve service last night. I can't remember that last time we merely attended one and didn't have a responsibility to fulfill. Kelly's dad did a great job reading the Christmas story to the kids.

We've spent some wonderful days in Lexington and are headed north to my family in Cincinnati this afternoon.

Good thing I brought the Explorer so we can haul back all of Kaelyn's toys.

Deck Them Halls and All That Stuff

This has been an enjoyable Christmas season as Kaelyn has started to recognize the significance of Christmas. Tonight we reread the Christmas story with her and she's starting to get it. The live nativity scene by Krohn Conservatory in Eden Park has been a good reinforcement.*

Another great part of the season has been the Christmas shows. Of course, Kaelyn loves the Grinch so we've seen that numerous times throughout the month. But she's developed a certain passion for Charlie Brown's Christmas. We DVR'd it early in the season and have been playing it every few days. Until the little girl came along, I never noticed the frequency with which Charles Schultz had the kids use the word "stupid," but Kaelyn has yet to employ it in her vocabulary. She has, however, taken to quoting the lines, "Rats" and "Oh no, I've killed it."**

The best part of the whole is the dance scene during play practice. Kaelyn loves to impersonate all the different dancers. She prefers the side-to-side head bob that the twin girls do. My fave is the boy in the green doing the zombie. I'm sure there's some kind of personality test that tells you all about yourself according to which dance you prefer.

It's funny that with all of the newer animated Christmas specials that our 21st century girl prefers the one made over forty years ago.

___________

*Last night, on the way home from church, we noticed that they had placed a menorah on the other side of Krohn Conservatory. I'm very cool with that, as this is still America and I think everyone should be allowed a place at the table, but I was not impressed with the display. I've seen some beautiful menorahs in my life and this one would not fall into that category. Additionally, I believe Hanukkah started Sunday night and not a candle was lit.

**At first, I had no idea where Kaelyn heard "I killed it." In my demented mind, I honestly thought she might have been watching South Park behind our back, claiming to have killed Kenny. As you know, it is actually what Charlie Brown says when he hangs the ornament on his sickly tree.

Cheese With My Wine

Why take pictures? Because you never know when one will touch a nerve.

An employee with Cincinnati Parks was online a few months ago searching for some wintry pictures of Eden Parks. She found this photo I posted to my Flickr account that I took on a snowy morning two years ago and thought it was ideal. I received an email from her asking if the park board could use the pic for promotions. I told her, as I tell everyone when they ask about where we live, our family absolutely loves the park so she could use it for free as long as I had no objections to what it was being used for.

Sidenote 1: I'm not quite sure what I was imagining when a made this stipulation. It's not like there's an Eden Park p0rn festival out there.

The employee let me know that every year the park board releases some holiday wines from a little winery in Hyde Park. They wanted to use my picture for a label on one of the bottles.

Sidenote 2: I know some teetotallers are reading this now, screaming in slow motion, "PLEASE TELL US YOU SAID 'NOOOOOO!'" but you will be severely disappointed. If you're in this camp, you might want to stop reading this post and forget that you ever started reading it in the first place.*

Of course, I said yes. In my opinion, it looks pretty cool [there's a glimpse of the label up top]. We received a bottle for free and they are currently available to purchase from the Cincinnati Parks Board. Honestly, I'm not quite sure how you would go about getting a bottle, but I'd say it's safe to call the park headquarters and someone could help you out with it.

So now I've had my photos published in a book and printed on a wine bottle. Maybe it's finally time to get around to that camera upgrade.

_____________

*Honestly, I know my decision to be associated with alcohol will disappoint some of you who believe that it's the devil's tool and my position as a minister should require that I totally steer clear of the hooch. I don't care to take up the issue of alcohol abstinence here in the blog. If it really bothers you, you should probably drop me a line.

The Church Up The Street

I recently read a quote which opined, "If you're going to start a church, start it in the shadow of a megachurch because you know that God is already working there."

This wasn't our philosophy when we started Echo but even though we are a world away here in Walnut Hills, we are definitely in the shadow of a megachurch. Crossroads Community Church meets only four miles from our current meeting space. It is impossible to miss their influence here in our part of town. They are they cool church and they are the controversial church. Drop the "Crossroads" name around here and you'll either hear "I love them," or "I hate them."

Our congregation is nothing at all like theirs and our services are entirely different. Our approaches to ministry are on different ends of the spectrum. Yet they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have many friends who either attend there or are on staff there. We even checked in with them when we talked about starting our church.

I love Crossroads. They are doing ministry that no one else in our city was doing and they're constantly trying to make themselves better. They take great risks but their motivation is pure.

They made the local news earlier this week in a profile of their senior pastor. I've met Brian Tome a couple of times. He wouldn't know me from Adam. Brian is a larger-than-life character and, as a result, draws a lot of attention. But he would freely admit (this I'm sure of) that Crossroads is much, much more than him. Being the guy out front, all eyes are fixed on him. And as a result he takes a lot of hits. But he loves Jesus, his church, and is using the gifts that God has given him.

I planned to write a post about Crossroads earlier in the week because of these articles, but then came the tragic news that a young lady participating in their Christmas program died in an accident during last night's performance. Our family attended last year's show and it was absolutely amazing. Again, we know people involved in this event and our heart breaks with them today. Our heart also goes out to the woman's family and the church members who will be deeply affected by her passing

And my heart goes out to their church as a whole. As I noted, they are a lightening rod in this community and I fear that people will use this tragedy as an excuse to criticize the church and their ministry. I would hope that such people will be mature, keep their thoughts to themselves, and use the words from their mouths in prayers for the community of believers at Crossroads. As time heals wounds they will need to go on and continue to do what God has enabled them to do.

Until then they mourn, and we mourn with them.

Our family has experienced loss.

IHS/MPG

I wish I had more time to comment on this, but maybe some of you can do a better job. This is a goody:

This past Sunday a Detroit church devoted their corporate worship gathering to praying for Trinity— not the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, mind you. Rather, they lifted up the automotive big three, Ford, GM, and Chrysler, filling their stage with SUV's from local car dealerships.

Personally, this makes me feel icky.

Thoughts?

Simmer Down Now

Allow me to be the voice of reason: let's all get a hold of ourselves and our fears about the economy.

Look, I fully acknowledge that our country's economic situation is worsening, but the sky is not falling. Friends, this is not the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression. We are just too young to understand the broader context of America's economy. Part of my masters thesis has been/will be studying the economic climate in 19th century America. There was usually a depression in our country every 10 to 15 years. We are in better structured today to deal with a faltering economic situation than we ever have in our country's history.

The fundamental change in our present economy is that there is no fast money to be made right now. For an instant-gratification culture, this is being interpreted as the end of the world. There are tons of numbers flying around right now designed to strike fear in the heart of Americans, but don't believe the hype.

The irony of this time of recession is that it's still not being understood in the context of America's newly-imagined cost of living. How many people do you know that are cutting back— I mean really cutting back? The early Christmas shopping season was better than the expected gloom and doom. People are still traveling, watching satellite television, and indulging their consumer-driven ideals. So even though American claim they are struggling, I suggest that it's being measured to higher standards than mere survivability.

I'm calling it like I see it: this is just even more spin by people looking to secure that our President-elect looks good in his first 100 days. For some reason, there are people insinuating that it's critical for our country that Bush pack up his junk, back up the U-Haul and get out of Dodge tonight. Democratic leadership is pressuring Obama to step up and lead now even though he lacks the Constitutional authority to do so. Succumbing to this pressure, he made an announcement Saturday morning outlining his big ideas to right the economy. This is somewhat unfortunate as, I believe, Obama has now prematurely released some ideas that are not fully thought out.

For example, the big news from Saturday is that the President-elect will propose a public works project on the scale of Eisenhower's establishment of the interstate system. This, he suggests, will create new jobs and spur economic growth. I am a fiscal conservative at heart and do not buy into this theory of economic stimulation. Sure, you create temporary jobs, but you also cripple the ability of the private sector to emerge and create their own. Let's not forget that the New Deal was not the solvent of the Great Depression; rather, it was "the ultimate stimulus package" of World War 2. But, hey,Obama will be in charge and he's going a different direction. I'm OK with that.

But my gripe with Obama's declaration is his overlooking of history in the process. Sure, you can observe that Eisenhower's works program was a boom to our country, but you cannot neglect to admit that it came with a price— the decimation of urban America. The building of the freeways was the beginning of suburban sprawl which left our cities in ruins. So while overall our nation benefited, we are still dealing with the negatives of that decision. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have built those interstates; I've been rekindling my fondness for our highways recently. But when it is done with just the dollar [or job] in mind, the negatives our ignored.

Hence, my ministry is now dealing with the residual effects of America's boom.

I'm just suggesting that our President-elect slow down and take the time to fully consider the ramifications of these suggested actions. No one's expecting him to turn this thing around in a matter of weeks, so he has the time.

It's not as bad as you think.

E-F-P-T-O-Z-L-P-E-D

I don't see so good.

I'm the only person in my family that is near-sighted. The only thing to which I can attribute this is those nights I used to stay up late at night as a child, using a dim reading lamp as my light source for books and Sports Illustrated.* Right about 5th grade, I couldn't read the blackboard from the back of the class. By the beginning of 7th grade, I got my first pair of glasses that I would wear only when needed. By 10th grade, I was wearing them all the time. I even had prescription sunglasses. Without glasses, I was practically blind.

But before I went off to college, I got my first pair of contacts. It was a difficult transition, as most contact wearers can relate; those first years, I would have occasional days when I just couldn't get those contacts in at all. And God forbid if I ripped one of those things, because were meant to last a year and they cost a fortune. But sometime since we've been married, I found the perfect brand of contacts; they were monthly replaceables. And the dirty little secret was that even though they were only supposed to last four weeks, I could sometimes go six. That meant I could get an extra six months out of a year's supply. I . . . am too cheap. Plus, I'd order them from 1-800 Contacts and save even more cash on the deal.

So fast forward to a couple of months ago when I had to get an eye appointment so I could get new contacts. I went to the optometrist at Sams in Oakley, and it was a great experience. The eye doctor noted that my contacts, the ones I've cherished for so long, are starting to be fazed out. I could hang on, or I could upgrade to biweeklies.

Not wanting to resist change for the better, I decided to move on.

These new contacts are OK, but I still am not used to changing them out so frequently. I finally figured out that I need to write the date on the contacts box when I throw away the old ones, otherwise I have no idea when to change them. Also, while they "breathe" better [whatever that means] they tend to be more flimsy. So unless they're setting perfectly in the contact solution at night, they're kinda contorted in the morning. I remedy this problem by straightening them out and letting them sit a few hours in the morning to take their natural shape. This means I spend more time wearing my glasses again.

Now . . . back to my glasses.

I used to love wearing glasses. Reasons why:

1) Sheer laziness. All I have to do is put them on and I can see. Brilliant. But there's another reason, though. One that displays my vanity:

2) A good looking pair of specs can make a person look good. I speak the truth. How many times have you thought or said, "Dang, ________ looks smarter today!"** Why? Because they're wearing a good pair of specs. Why in the world glasses have that effect on people, I have no idea, but I think it's contingent on wearing them occasionally; wear them all the time and the effect dissipates. As for me, I need all the help I can get to fake intelligence, so I'll walk that road.

Because of this, I like to make sure I have a decent pair to wear. I last purchased glasses about three years ago— a pretty sharp pair. But there's a slight problem: they sit heavily on the ridge on my nose and are painful to wear. I've messed with the little-nose-piece-thingies to no avail. Since they're not too comfortable, I've tended to rely on the contact wearing, which has worked remarkably well for the past few years.***

Until recently. With these new contacts.

Since I've gotten these new contacts that act up, I'm now wearing those painful glasses more. And I'm not going to get a new pair because I don't want to pay more money for glasses that I'll only wear every once in awhile. So instead, I'll suffer through this contact adjustment and nose-ridge pain all so I can see.

So what's the point of all of this?

In a couple years, when I finally decide to have that laser eye surgery, I'll have verifiable justification right here.

___________

*Not the swimsuit issue. Get your mind out of the gutter.

**Did this work for Sarah Palin? I'm thinking no.

***The irony about all this is that since I rarely wear glasses anymore, people are more surprised to learn that I wear contacts. I just find it peculiar when someone says "I didn't know you wear glasses" when they really mean to say, "I didn't know your vision sucks."

Something To Be Proud Of

I haven't written much [if anything] concerning the University of Cincinnati's football team. Until recently, many people in our fine city had no idea a team even existed in Clifton, but on Saturday [or perhaps tomorrow if West Virginia lays an egg] the Bearcats have a chance to win the Big East championship and play in a BCS bowl game.

I've always loved football and, in my formative years, I chose to follow the Ohio State Buckeyes. Sure, when it came to college basketball I always returned to the hometown team . . . um, UC not Xavier*, but football always meant the Bucks. The reason I didn't cheer for UC football is because they played at a lower level; let's be honest: neither the Metro Conference nor Conference USA presented the best brand of football. And I'll admit even this: during the amazing 2002 Buckeye run to the national championship, I was rooting against the Bearcats as my OSU loyalties proved too strong. But I've been tracking the program for years and have watched practically every game they've played this season. This team is pretty good. And it's now an incredibly fun style of football to watch.

But UC's jump to the Big East [thank you, Bob Huggins, wherever you are] was a total game changer for the football program. There was now a BCS tie-in, which even presented the opportunity to compete for a national championship. Two years ago, when Bearcats AD Mike Thomas stated that UC would win Big East championships in every sport, I was sure football would be the last to arrive. And now, it's totally within grasp.

Amazing.

I wasn't sure if they could find someone to take over the helm of the program like Mark Dantonio, but Brian Kelly is on the verge of owning this town.** Sure, the rumors persist that he'll go to some larger program and I wouldn't blame him.*** But if he's patient, he has the opportunity to build a college football power in this town. I'm very serious: this new playing style will attract recruits, the campus facilities [sans the bandbox stadium] are spectacular, and this isn't a little podunk city. Regardless of what happens, things are looking good.

In short, it is a very good time to be a Bearcats fan. And as I continue to sport my practice-worn Gino Guidugli jersey, I embrace this new winning tradition in our fine city, eagerly anticipating a Big East Championship on Saturday.

____________

*Even though they are crosstown rivals, I've always liked Xavier. I know their are some loyalists who can't fathom that relationship, but it works for me. Even though my future alumni status makes me take a greater interest in the Muskies, my ultimate allegience is still to UC.

**It should be noted that the way the mayor and city council treated Coach Kelly on Wednesday was flat-out bush league. These people need to realize that if you're going to honor someone, don't impose on their time. But Coach used to be involved in politics, so I'm sure he expects it from them.

***While I highly doubt that Coach Kelly will spend decades in Clifton, I just can't envision him going to Tennessee. The SEC is a bad fit for his system, and I'm not convinced he's survive in one of those southern football towns.