I don't see so good.

I'm the only person in my family that is near-sighted. The only thing to which I can attribute this is those nights I used to stay up late at night as a child, using a dim reading lamp as my light source for books and Sports Illustrated.* Right about 5th grade, I couldn't read the blackboard from the back of the class. By the beginning of 7th grade, I got my first pair of glasses that I would wear only when needed. By 10th grade, I was wearing them all the time. I even had prescription sunglasses. Without glasses, I was practically blind.

But before I went off to college, I got my first pair of contacts. It was a difficult transition, as most contact wearers can relate; those first years, I would have occasional days when I just couldn't get those contacts in at all. And God forbid if I ripped one of those things, because were meant to last a year and they cost a fortune. But sometime since we've been married, I found the perfect brand of contacts; they were monthly replaceables. And the dirty little secret was that even though they were only supposed to last four weeks, I could sometimes go six. That meant I could get an extra six months out of a year's supply. I . . . am too cheap. Plus, I'd order them from 1-800 Contacts and save even more cash on the deal.

So fast forward to a couple of months ago when I had to get an eye appointment so I could get new contacts. I went to the optometrist at Sams in Oakley, and it was a great experience. The eye doctor noted that my contacts, the ones I've cherished for so long, are starting to be fazed out. I could hang on, or I could upgrade to biweeklies.

Not wanting to resist change for the better, I decided to move on.

These new contacts are OK, but I still am not used to changing them out so frequently. I finally figured out that I need to write the date on the contacts box when I throw away the old ones, otherwise I have no idea when to change them. Also, while they "breathe" better [whatever that means] they tend to be more flimsy. So unless they're setting perfectly in the contact solution at night, they're kinda contorted in the morning. I remedy this problem by straightening them out and letting them sit a few hours in the morning to take their natural shape. This means I spend more time wearing my glasses again.

Now . . . back to my glasses.

I used to love wearing glasses. Reasons why:

1) Sheer laziness. All I have to do is put them on and I can see. Brilliant. But there's another reason, though. One that displays my vanity:

2) A good looking pair of specs can make a person look good. I speak the truth. How many times have you thought or said, "Dang, ________ looks smarter today!"** Why? Because they're wearing a good pair of specs. Why in the world glasses have that effect on people, I have no idea, but I think it's contingent on wearing them occasionally; wear them all the time and the effect dissipates. As for me, I need all the help I can get to fake intelligence, so I'll walk that road.

Because of this, I like to make sure I have a decent pair to wear. I last purchased glasses about three years ago— a pretty sharp pair. But there's a slight problem: they sit heavily on the ridge on my nose and are painful to wear. I've messed with the little-nose-piece-thingies to no avail. Since they're not too comfortable, I've tended to rely on the contact wearing, which has worked remarkably well for the past few years.***

Until recently. With these new contacts.

Since I've gotten these new contacts that act up, I'm now wearing those painful glasses more. And I'm not going to get a new pair because I don't want to pay more money for glasses that I'll only wear every once in awhile. So instead, I'll suffer through this contact adjustment and nose-ridge pain all so I can see.

So what's the point of all of this?

In a couple years, when I finally decide to have that laser eye surgery, I'll have verifiable justification right here.


*Not the swimsuit issue. Get your mind out of the gutter.

**Did this work for Sarah Palin? I'm thinking no.

***The irony about all this is that since I rarely wear glasses anymore, people are more surprised to learn that I wear contacts. I just find it peculiar when someone says "I didn't know you wear glasses" when they really mean to say, "I didn't know your vision sucks."