Me VS Tiger [It Begins]

While I was kinda pulling for Rocco Mediate to keep pushing the US Open to even more play-off holes, I must admit that I was pulling for Tiger Woods to win yet another Major Championship today. As I've mentioned before, Tiger and I share the same birthdate [December 30, 1975]. So whenever people rave about how amazing he is, I'm forced to compare my accomplishments with his because we've had exactly the same amount of time to get things done. For the longest time I've felt unworthy, but then I realized that it's all because the scoreboard has gone only one way.

So today I decided that I am going to enter the fray and take on Tiger Woods in the official "Me VS Tiger" competition.

We will go mano-a-mano, comparing each of our life's accomplishments to see who ends up on top. This will account for 50% of the scoring. The remainder will be based on an actual head-to-head match-up in a competition decided by Tiger himself [he'd better pick golf, otherwise I'm kicking his ***]. The competition will carry on until the in-person competition takes place. The scores will then be combined and a winner will be declared.

Tiger, be advised that this is your public challenge. I know you'll have downtime to troll the internet now that you're resting the knee until the British Open. Once you come across my blog you can drop me an email and we'll set up the match-up. Otherwise I'm going to have to take you down in a long, drawn out, merciless way.

As we begin the competition, the first comparison will be Golf Major Championships. Tiger now has fourteen in his professional career. Although I have watched many majors on television, I have yet to win one. I did, at one time, own a green windbreaker jacket, but I'm not sure that it counts. So since I'm pretty sure that I'm not going to be able to string together fourteen Majors in the next few decades, I will concede and give Tiger this category. So the official scoreboard now stands at . . .

ME= 0

TIGER= 1

Well played. Well played.

Looking for Redlegs

I'm not quite sure when it started. Perhaps it was empathy stemmed over from the year of my birth.

I was born in the midst of the Big Red Machine, in December 1975, between back-to-back World Championships. Just two months before I was born, the Cincinnati Reds defeated the Boston Red Sox in seven games.

But it probably started with those Saturday baseball games on television when I was a kid. It was the only time I had the opportunity to see this bizarre phenomenon known as the American League— teams like the Yankees, Tigers, White Sox, and Royals. But the one I enjoyed the most played in a stadium with a big green wall in left field. That was the team I liked the best. So in the mid-eighties, I chose my American league team: the Boston Red Sox.

The recent futility of my hometown club led me to live and die with the Sox. I remember Buckner losing the ball in the five-hole. I remember Clemens getting ejected from the ALCS in 1990. I remember when Mo Vaughn was mashing and Pedro Martinez was menacing. I remember staying up to watch the 11th inning of game 7 of the ALCS when former-Red Aaron Boone took Tim Wakefield yard.

But watching the Red Sox win to championships in four years has been enjoyable. True, not as enjoyable as it would be if the Reds would win another, but fun nevertheless. But the recent run of championships has taken a little bit off of my relationship with the team. They used to be underdogs. Now they're poised to become a dynasty. It's just different.

So as the Red Sox come to town for the first time since the year of my birth, you'd think I'd be lined up to get tickets [ironically, even though the Reds sold these tickets like it was the greatest sporting event in Cincinnati history, you can walk up and purchase them for any game this weekend]. But, as of now, I'm not going to any of the three games. Sure, it's the match-up of my two favorite teams, but it's not worth the premium price to me. The Reds are reeling and the Red Sox are cruising. Plus, the games will be on television, so I won't have to miss a play

Here's to hoping that a little love will come the Reds way so that the next time these teams face-off it'll be in a World Series [which the Reds will win].

UPDATE

Two more things:

1) I forgot to mention that the first manager of the Red Sox came from the RedLegs. I believe that they weren't the Red Sox until that manager renamed the team the American League Red Stockings, later the Red Sox. Additionally, I thing the Reds later dropped the "Stockings" because it had German connotations,

2) Of course, wouldn't you know it that I received a call an hour after originally posting this offering me a ticket to tonight's game. I ended up going and was proud that the crowd, while filled with Sox fans, was mostly for the Reds. And they ending up winning to boot. Thanks, Tye and Andrea.

New View

Earlier this week I was online checking Google maps and saw that the Google street view has finally come to Cincinnati. This is an effort by Google to get 360 views of [I think] every street in America. I could tell by the view that they took these pictures last year when our street was under construction.

I feel particularly honored that the Explorer was front and center for the picture.

Go ahead and Google an address and see what happens.

Rehabbed House

Just wanted to get up the new blog look since I have most of the redesign finished. Most noticeable is the new front page [RSS subscribers will have to click over to see it] that is image-based. Those catching the blog straight from the interwebs will get to continually see a new front door.

Like I said, I'm not finished yet, but this gives you an idea of what I'm working toward. Wordpress rocks.

Trying to Transition

I've sung the praises of Wordpress and have thoroughly enjoyed using it as a blogging platform. While I've enjoyed this current layout, I'm ready to change it again. My reasoning is twofold: 1) I [finally] admit, it's not the easiest to read. People who catch the blog via RSS don't necessarily notice, but if you read straight from the website, the text is a tad tiny.

2) I get bored easily. So even though I've only had this theme for about a year, it feels like time to change.

The new theme I'm working with is pretty sweet, nothing like anything I've seen. But I'm still tweaking the code so I might not have it up for a little while. So depending on how fast I can work on it, I might be on a little hiatus. So be patient, and we'll get this up as soon as possible.

More Crazy City Livin'

Went to bed late on Friday night, woke up for a 9am soccer game, and the returned to notice my neighbor's car was rear ended. Then I realized from the car parts strewn along the street that something bigger happened. Apparently at 3am early Saturday morning, a Nissan Maxima was flying up the street and rear ended a truck parked in front of our condos. It started a chain reaction, hitting the car of a guy from Saint Louis, which in turn hit the car of one of my neighbors. The driver of the car was able to continue going up the street before leaving the car and running away. That leads us to believe that the car was stolen and as of 4pm today, the perp has yet to be caught.

Kelly and I were surprised that even with Kaelyn's baby monitor on, we slept through a huge collision and the arrival of police/fire department folk immediately in front of our condo. Only one of our neighbors woke up to witness it in action. I guess we're heavy sleepers.

My neighbor has a little more of the story with a picture [plus a little college basketball talk] but the thing that left my grateful is that I was parked immediately in front of the three-cars that were damaged. And the two cars behind me [thankfully] had their emergency brakes on. Otherwise the Exploder would've been hit for sure.

Just another thing that keeps us connected to our neighbors.

I Love . . .

. . . my God.. . . my wife. . . . my daughter. . . . my family. . . . my friends. . . . my church. . . . my city. . . . my life.

Just thought you should know.

Obama VS McCain

Thinking politics this Friday afternoon. Apologies if it seems like all I talk about lately, but I am very much into the culture that shapes our society, and from now to November it's politics. This presidential election will be epic. It's going to be more revealing than any election in my lifetime. It will expose a cacophony of issues that will be weighed against each other and whatever emerges as the foremost one has the potential to shape our country's future more than the Iraqi War, perhaps even more than 9/11.

Back in February I called that John McCain will be President while recognizing that I had called Obama almost a year and a half before. I acknowledged that the landscape had changed significantly: McCain was a surprise nominee and Hillary hung on long enough to damage Obama's chances to the point that he won't win in November [ultimately, getting what she wants so she can run again in 2012]. While the internet is teeming with young people and pundits claiming Obama is polling incredibly against McCain, it's a smokescreen.

Take, for instance, McCain's speech on Tuesday when Obama clinched. His campaign advisers wanted him to get some pub and scheduled an appearance earlier in the night. McCain was very obviously off, the crowd was apathetic— a pretty embarrassing scene. Juxtapose that with Obama's impassioned speech, working the crowd into a delirious frezy and it appeared like the changing of the guard. Some people see this as an indication of things to come, but what people have overstated since JFK vs Nixon is that personality wins out in the television age.

Remember this: while Obama nails prepared speeches, he struggled in debates. And even though McCain struggles through his speeches with a certain awkwardness, he's at his best when speaking off the cuff. Don't be surprised if the debates swing the Republican's way.

Despite Obamamania, the real issue will probably not be change. In the end, it will come down to two things: race and policy position.

While Hillary's campaign continued to the end to see that Obama had a problem with white, working people, I'm not convinced this will fully transition to the primary. There are still pockets of racism in our country and, when joined together with the charges of Obama's connection to Islam [which you think would have been erased with the Reverend Wright controversy but hasn't] will lose him so votes in a few states. But I'm not convinced that race is enough alone to do Obama in.

What will really determine things is Obama's liberal stances. The thing that hasn't been discussed is that, if elected, Obama would be the most liberal President this country has ever had [more so than Bill or Hillary Clinton]. Regardless of party affiliation, most Americans are decidedly moderate. Too much of a swing towards either extreme will turn people off. Even with their differences on the war, Obama's views on foreign policy and health care are not necessarily main stream. So people will look twice before voting. Then, as the fall approaches, prejudices will work their own way out, McCain will exploit the issues that make Obama less desirable towards the moderates, and the Republicans will win the White House.

But the biggest issue will come to light after November. An Obama loss will bring the issue of race to the forefront of American conversation. Obama backers, regardless of their own race, will cry out that ours is a racist country that will never elect a black man, let alone a minority. Those who disagree will deny that this charge is unvalidated, claiming it was Obama's liberality that really brought on his defeat.

And the truth will be somewhere in the middle. But levels of distrust will grow and America will be more divided than it was after the 2000 election.

That's why I'm tracking this election closely. It's going to change our country, no matter who wins.

Not This Time

The third leg of the Triple Crown is Saturday, with Big Brown aiming to be the first horse to accomplish the trifecta in thirty years. Even though some people view this race as a job to the coronation, since 1948 there have been eighteen horses that won the Derby and the Preakness and consequently lost the Belmont. The reason? The Belmont is 1.5 miles, a long haul for many of these horses. With that in mind, I'm predicting that Big Brown will come up empty handed.

Casino Drive is a horse bred specifically for this long distance. He's the spawn of a Derby winner. And he hadn't competed in either of the first two legs of the Triple Crown. Commentators admit that this has been a weak year for the three year-olds, and Casino Drive is the real deal.

Although it would be great to see the horse accomplish this epic task, the trainer is as arrogant as anyone I've ever seen in horse racing. He's been talking smack since Derby week. I'm thinking this is the week he's wrong.

Casino Drive to win.

What I Found

So I woke up early today to go work out. We've had some stormy weather the past two days so it was crazy humid this morning. There was a layer of condensation on my truck window, which I normally wouldn't have noticed except that someone used their finger [I hope] to write on my driver's side window. The message left for me: "LOST"

All day I've been wondering what it meant.

As a minister am I could interpret it as a spiritual message. You know, "there are plenty of lost people in this city, so as you begin your day, remember who's out there."

Sorry, I don't think it was a mission from God.

I guess it could've been someone from the westside of town who mistakenly took a wrong turn and ended up in Eden Park. As they traversed the steep hillside they wanted to make sure that someone knew they were "lost."

I doubt it. Like any self-respecting westsider would go east of 1-71.

Then again, it could be a viral marketing campaign to boost ratings for ABC's hit show that seems to get weirder by the episode.

Not buyin' it. I guess it makes sense since we don't watch Lost, but we never will. By the way, did the season really end with some guy turning a wheel to submerge the island into the ocean?

I believe the real message takes a little more investigation. And I think I finally figured out what it means. It's a message from myself . . . from the future. In the year 2018, when time travel finally becomes the norm, I traveled back in time to 2008 to warm myself of an imminent assassination attempt.

So, obviously, "Lost" is actually an anagram for "Look Out, Steven Tyler!"

Why someone would be so cruel to kill the lead singer of Aerosmith, I don't know. Like I've always planned, in the year 2015 Steven Tyler ends up living in Cincinnati, we run into each other on the street, and I sing Aerosmith's greatest hits to him. He is so impressed that we become best friends. Then, in his later years, I pen an epic biography of his life that wins me many accolades and phat [emphasis "p-h"] cash.

Oh, and I grow a handlebar mustache, but that doesn't factor in to this story.

But I know what you're thinking: why, if you're going to take the effort to travel through time, just leave an arbitrary note on a window when I could just make contact with myself? The reason why, is because it would be too dangerous. Future Steve wouldn't have been able to talk to Current Steve as, anyone who has ever watched VanDamme's cinematic masterpiece Timecop knows, we could touch and since the same matter can't occupy the same space simultaneously, we'd both blow up. Duh. Yes, I am the only one who can save the future of America's greatest Boston-based band [sorry New Kids On The Block]. I . . . am . . . Livin' on the Edge. I am worthy of the task set before me.

So Future Steve, if you're reading this ten years from now, I'll be checking my car window again tomorrow for another message. Or, to save me from having to clean my window, leave a note on my windshield instead.

I don't do so good with hidden messages, anyway.

The Dale Farewell

No way I can be as poetic as my wife in her description, but I too must express sadness at the departure of our good friend Dale. Dale, or "THE Dale" as I nicknamed him, was there at our very first core group meeting. He was there for all the Echo firsts [except the first group picture?], and became a mainstay at Echo Church. He ran our sound. He managed our tech issues. And he cooked like a mothah' [or at least like a mother who watches the Food Network].

Most importantly, The Dale is our friend. Kaelyn absolutely loves him. While it's nice to know that I have a place to stay in New York City if I ever visit, I'd much rather have had him here in Cincy.

It's a bummer when people leave, but I'm sure we'll be seeing him again soon.

A few pics . . .

My reflecting about a crazy night in Georgetown, Ohio.

A snapshot with the Carr fam.

Sometimes I Doubt . . .

. . . what we're doing here in the city because no one is really doing ministry the way we are at Echo; I really haven't found a model that resembles us. As a result, I'm left to compare our plight to either the inner-city mission that reaches predominantly impoverished people [which isn't us] or affluent "emerging" churches that do attraction programming that hinges on big events [which we aren't either]. Being in no man's land can be exciting, but it's a lot like running a marathon alone: you have no idea how well you're doing. When it comes to my mental status, I do pretty well as long as I don't dwell on the negatives too long. But even the optimist can stray to the dark side. But it seems that whenever I hit one of those frustrating patches, God sends me encouragement that keeps me going. Sometimes the edification is found in wisdom from my wife, or in words offered by our church leaders, or, occasionally, from people I've never met.

I read the blog of marketing guru Seth Godin because he consistently offers great insight. He wrote a post this week the coincided with one of my low days and it picked me up. He observed that while our society craves the grand opening, they are truly overrated. Godin offered,

"Make a list of successful products in your industry. Most of them didn't start big. Not the Honda Accord or Facebook, not Aetna Insurance, not JetBlue or that church down the street. Most overnight successes take a decade (okay, four years online)."

He continues,

"The grand opening is a symptom of the real problem . . . Grand opening syndrome forces marketers to spend their time and money at exactly the wrong time, and worse, it leads to a lack of patience that damages the prospects of the product and service being launched . . . Far better to spend the time and money building actual relationships than going for the big 'grand' hit."

He concludes,

"The best time to promote something is after it has raving fans, after you've discovered that it works, after it has a groundswell of support. And more important, the best way to promote something is consistently and persistently and for a long time. Save the bunting for Flag Day."

At the conclusion of the summer will have completed three years of ministry here in Walnut Hills and we still have yet to develop the momentum I know we have in us. But at the same time, I'm just starting to feel like we're planting significant roots here. I have no idea how long it's going to take to accomplish our plans; this endeavor that is Echo Church might take a decade [or decades] to gain traction. But I'll skip the instant gratification for long-term meaningful ministry any day.

Can't Stop

Sorry, two more political thoughts this evening. First, if McCain picks Louisiana governor, Indian-American Bobby Jindal and Obama picks Kansas' woman governor Kathleen Sebelius, the diversity of the ticket would be overwhelming. Who would young/middle-aged white men vote for? Don't answer.

Second, still reflecting on the Wayne's World reunion from the MTV Movie Awards [of course, no video available], I laughed to myself tonight as a web commentator [apologies, no link] likened Hillary Clinton, who rumors say now wants to be Obama's running mate, to Wayne's ex-girlfriend Stacey [yes, video].

I never saw it before, but there is a resemblance.

Let's Get Ready To Rumble!

As if up till now wasn't enough, now it's really on. Even though Obama has enough delegates for the Democratic nomination, Hillary gave her speech tonight without officially conceding. Like I said this morning, I still think it'll happen on Thursday. And as for the Hillary as VP scenario, I would be absolutely shocked if she was on the ticket.

Regardless, we're now set up for the Obama/McCain showdown that will be absolutely fascinating [especially if McCain selects Bobby Jindal as his running mate]. The next few months will be an incredibly polarizing time but hopefully, somewhere in the middle of the mayhem, actual issues will be discussed.

Before we get too far removed, I have to mention a well-publicized sermon from over a week ago. Catholic priest Michael Pfleger insulted Hillary from the Trinity United Church of Christ pulpit, ultimately forcing Obama to sever ties with the congregation.

I was familiar with Pfleger, a hard-working priest serving neglected urban parishes on Chicago's southside. A few months ago he rather articulately and intelligently pwnd a Fox News reporter trying to rip Reverend Wright. His appearance at Trinity did not come across as either articulate or intelligent, but more like cheap entertainment Watch the two videos and see how is pulpit demeanor makes him seem like a totally different person. It's sad because Pfleger's unheralded pastoral ministry to impoverished Chicagoans is now completely overlooked because he was caught up in a moment. It's a good reminder as a preacher that I need to be very careful of the words I utter from the pulpit.

Additionally, as my friend Aaron and I were discussing this situation, he made an observation concerning Christianity in America. He stated that the media used to think that only conservative Christians made controversial, incendiary statements. This presidential campaign has shown that both liberal and conservative Christians will profess views that the general public find offensive.

Anyway, the reason I brought all this up was something I discovered in my class at Xavier last night. Apparently our professor admitted that he actually taught Pfleger in seminary; so the guy who taught him is now teaching me.

Not sure if any of my sermons will factor into this year's presidential campaign. I'm going to try to stay out of it.

Catching Up

I'm finally coming down from a three week marathon where we've been moving non-stop. Life is definitely good, but I enjoy it better when breathing. That said, here are some things I think you need to know:

*I stayed up to watch triple-overtime hockey last night. It goes to show you that Gary Bettman is the worst commissioner in all of sports. I'm not saying that hockey still holds the same place in American sports, but it's definitely too good to be relegated to the Verses network.

*Speaking of hockey, the Cincinnati Cyclones are coming home 3 games to 2 verses Las Vegas, poised to bring our city it's first sports championship in eighteen years. I guess that's good news.

*A little late here, but how about Journey's new lead singer? The last guy they had sounded a lot like Steve Perry but the new guy is a dead ringer. Oh, and the new guy's a Filipino who speaks broken English. I guess this just proves that we're all replaceable.

*They might close down Western Bowl and put in a strip mall. Yep, the end of the world is at hand. To me, Western Bowl is the westside. The even more important question is: whatever happened to Doc Holliday's [I realize these comments are irrelevant to non-Westsiders, but Google it and see what you come up with]?

*The governor is hosting a state-wide Cornhole tourney and not coming to Cincinnati. Even more Westside outrage.

*I'm thinking Hillary will be out of the race by Thursday. I just can't see her admitting defeat tonight [following the final two primaries] or the day after.

*I guess Chad Johnson is going to play this year. I'm sure that'll work out.

*Euro 2008 starts next week. I'm disappointed that England didn't qualify, but will still watch some of the games. Tough to predict the outcome, but I'm thinking Portugal over Germany.

*Quick story: had the Carr Electric HVAC unit out yesterday to recharge the heat pump. Our neighbor's fan motor had locked up this weekend, so I had them look at ours to in order to combine trips. The neighbor collects snakes and keeps them in the laundry room and, when I went with the tech to check out their furnace, his wife informed me that she couldn't find one of them. I'm not Indiana Jones or nothing but it freaked me out, especially considering that our condos share a wall. Upon further inspection the snake was hiding incredibly well in his cage and I didn't die.

*And thinking about this incident yesterday made me think of this. Thanks, John. It's still fun.

Lower Your Pitchfork

So the Dems are seating half the delegates from Michigan and Florida at their convention. Now there can be peace, eh? No way.

Many Floridians and Michiganders Floridians and Michiganders who support Hillary are still ticked that their votes won't be fully counted. Continued references to the 2000 election and even the recent Zimbabwe election can appear to be apt, but they actually are not.

First, this is a party issue. If Hillary supporters really want to take out their anger, it shouldn't be directed toward Obama. It should vented towards Howard Dean and party leadership. Additionally, vent some of that frustration towards your candidate as she figured out how to come-from-ahead and lose a dominating lead. And he hypocrisy concerning the Florida/Michigan elections the first time around didn't help her today.

Second, these people complaining that they didn't even want an early election are responsible even if they don't think they are. They're living in a representative-democratic state and selected the men and women who decided on this early primary. That's America. If you haven't gotten used to it yet, there are a couple hundred other countries you could choose from.

Additionally, I would be shocked if this proportioned delegate/superdelegate system still exists in 2012. It's once again made the Democratic party look ridiculous. In what should be an absolute lay-up election, they're giving the Republicans a head-start towards the White House.

I'm still not convinced Obama will be able to beat McCain.

It's All Crap

Three posts in one day. Obviously, I have a lot on my mind. I had to laugh today as our worship of the environmental god continued to expand with a study examing America's carbon footprint. I imagine as certain mythological aspects of global warming begin to melt away we'll need a new goal to work towards and the mastering of the carbon footprint appears to be the heir apparent.

The reason for my increased skepticism is the results of the aforementioned carbon footprint study. While Honolulu was lauded as the country's best city, second place was a little surprising: Los Angeles. Couple that shock with what was determined to be the worst city in this category [LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY], and the legitimacy of this analysis becomes a joke.

I have been to L.A.. And I have been [once or twice] to Lexington, Kentucky. I'm not quite sure I would have placed those two towns at those ends of the spectrum.

I know some of you will respond that I'm misinterpreting the study, such as that it averages out the impact among each of the cities' inhabitants, or that carbon footprints take into account issues such as  energy consumption and emissions while factoring the benefits of things like public transit, but I really don't care. The stuff that environmentalists are urging us to care about continues to become more and more ridiculous.

Again, I'm all for being good stewards of this beautiful world but if you wholeheartedly believed in the movement that it needs to be saved, you'd be living in a field somewhere, eating off the ground, and not taking advantage of the modern conveniences that continue to contribute to the destruction of our planet.

I'm A Jerk [Again]

Continuing to offer opinions to which some will object . . . Let's wrap up celebrating Joe Nuxhall.

Look, he was a great guy who was loved by the masses. He meant a lot to many Reds fans. And, as a result of his wonderful life, he has been thoroughly honored: he has a quote permanently affixed to the facade of Great American Ballpark [while Marty, because the county commissioners were ridiculous, has nothing], he has a statue in front of the stadium, the team wore his jersey number on Opening Day and is still wearing a "Nuxy" patch on their sleeves.

So did we really have to rename a street to make sure he was even more honored?

Personally, I liked Joe. But as much as I wanted him to get the Frick award and make it into the Hall of Fame [which I imagine he someday will] we all have to admit that he really wasn't a great broadcaster; I tended to avoid innings when he did the play-by-play. He was more of a personality than a professional, very similar to Harry Caray. Joe was a good man, without a doubt. But were his contributions to our community so important that we need to continue to come up with ideas by which to remember him ?

Perhaps my dismay is fueled by the idea that our city has produced many influential people who have helped change the world who never received this kind of honor. For example, Albert Sabin developed the oral polio vaccine, something that we who never lived during the height of the polio scare, will never fully appreciate. The city showed their appreciation of Sabin by naming the convention center after him, the selling out the name to a power company [in a related note, just last week I encountered someone at the convention center who went there to pay their energy bill]. Further more, we have one of our native sons who served as President of the United States yet still doesn't even a statue of his own in the city!

Again, this obviously isn't an attempt to put down Joe. He will be remembered by many for years to come. But 100 years from now, I imagine it will be difficult for someone to explain how his contributions were more significant than many other sons and daughters from our city who had been long forgotten.

No Dough

How about some more Catholic-ish stories? This past weekend I was honored to perform the wedding of Jeff and Kristin in Louisville, Kentucky. They are an amazing couple. Kristin was working on a law degree from Chase at NKU and found us on the interwebs. Jeff was from San Antonio, got a job here in Cincy and a friend-of-a-friend connected him to Kristin. And the rest they say . . .

I should note that the church building in which they were wed was fantastic. Amazing stained glass and woodwork. They had a communion table that was about five feet tall. I conducted the ceremony from the floor, which left very little space to maneuver around. But I'm a can-do guy and wasn't worried about it.

While Kristin is a practicing Protestant [that's fun to write for some odd reason] her family is mostly Catholic. Since Protestant weddings differ greatly from Catholic wedding masses, I do my best to carefully explain the different aspects of the ceremony to the crowd. Additionally, I'll try to make things more familiar to them. For example, there's the Lord's Prayer. My new school Protestantism asks forgiveness from "our debts as we forgive our debtors." Catholics [and old school Protestants], however, ask to be forgiven "of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." While I'm usually a "debtor" guy, I'll swing to "trespass" in a Catholic crowd.

Anyway, Jeff and Kristen decided that they wanted to have communion served during the ceremony, so we planned out the specifics at the rehearsal. Fast forward to the service when communion time rolls around. I pick up the bread and chalice [which is rather full] and realize that the close quarters put me within very close proximity to the bride and her very expensive, very white dress. I must admit that I've never been in that situation and was very nervous. Knowledgeable of the fact that spilling a cup full of the fruit of the vine on a wedding dress would be something I would never recover from, I tightly grasped the cup and held it close to my chest.

After the prayer, I served the couple, and then had to serve the rest of the bridal party. This meant again maneuvering around the dress, which I believe grew even whiter as I navigated my way to the bridesmaids, all while holding the cup like a parachutist holds their ripcord. Unfortunately, all my attention was on the cup and I didn't realize I was holding the plate of bread at a slight angle. Sure enough, half of the bread hit the floor at the feet of the maid of honor. Yet fortunately, no one in the audience saw the bread hit the floor and I played it off.* And like a miniature miracle at Zarepheth, there was still enough bread to go around.

Immediately after communion I offered another prayer, after which I had the audience join me in the Lord's Prayer. Like I said, I was concentrating on the whole "trespasses verses debts" line, wanting to get it out properly. Well apparently in my zeal to be accommodating, I skipped right over the line, "Give us this day our daily bread." I had no idea until after the ceremony when Kelly told me. Amazingly no one in the audience pointed that out to me later.

So there was something about bread and me last Saturday. I just couldn't handle it in any form. Not quite sure what that was all about.

Kinda unfortunate too, as it was a beautiful wedding and I really like bread.

*For my Catholic friends, the thought of the bread hitting the floor might be more offensive than I reflected here because of the doctrine of transubstantiation. We Protestants do not view the Eucharist in the same way, so my dropping the bread wasn't a theological violation, but just your standard reason for embarrassment. Additionally, I don't have to polish off the rest of the elements after communion, which I sorta appreciate.

I Don't Call Him Daddy

My current Xavier class has the potential to be my best course thus far at the university. The professor is a retired Jesuit priest who is incredibly informational and conversational. But as it's my first class taught by a priest, I'm finally faced with a dilemma I've been contemplating for some time: what would I call him? Despite not sporting the priestly collar/uniform, he still has the prefix "Father" before his name.

Being raised a good Protestant boy, I was taught the words of Jesus in Matthew 23 that you were not to call any man "Father." And even though I've realized for some time now that the context of that passage deals with the Pharisee leaders who cherished earthly titles to the point of abuse, and it is really not forbidding the Roman Catholic clergy title, it still made me feel awkward to the point of avoidance. Blame it on my upbringing. I've interacted with priests before, but was able to maintain communication by adhering to strictly generic pronouns. I could have tried that with my professor, but six weeks of class-time just seemed like too long to keep up. So last week I finally broke it out for the first time and posed a question to "Father Bracken." Not sure if I'll ever get used to it.

Of course, at Echo, I love it when they call me "Big Papa."