ESPEN the Magazine

I've been working out a few days a week over at the Xavier Health Center. I do about thirty minutes of cardio which is more enjoyable because of an mp3 player and a television tuned into SportsCenter. Speaking of SC, I'm really fed up with SportsCenter's new "Who's Now" segment they're thrusting down our throat. They taken some of today's most popular young athletes, put them in a NCAA basketball style bracket and have the public vote on who they think is "most now." I still have no idea what that's supposed to mean. All I know is that it's a huge network-sponsored popularity contest with an end nowhere in sight.

Not only does the entire premise behind this bracket make me want to yak but their feeble attempt at being politically correct adds insult to injury. They named their four brackets after former "now" athletes. Tell me which one of these four doesn't belong:

Babe Ruth, Muhammad Ali, Michael Jordan, Billie Jean King.

If you picked the chick on the end, congrats: you're conscious.

How can you even pretend to put King into that group? Why bypass athletes such as Wayne Gretzky, Jesse Owens, and Willie Mays to include her? King's selection is even more interesting considering that ESPN ranked her the 59th greatest athlete of the 20th century, behind Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova. If she's not better than other female tennis players, how is she worthy of this bracket being named after her?

Obviously, the network felt obligated to include a woman in that group to perpetuate the idea that women's athletics are influential as men's. Even though some would like for this to be true, it's not. Notice that in this current voting, only one woman has advanced in this bracket [and one could argue that Maria Sharapova's athleticism isn't why men watch her]. And included in this comprehensive list was Amanda Beard, an Olympic swimmer who's recent claim-to-fame is that she posed nude in Playboy [no hyperlink available]. Are they really trying to lift up women's sports or objectify them? Sure, I want my daughter to have some role-models, but are they put into that position because they're worthy or because they're hot?

And if they really felt it was necessary to include a female, that's fine. But Babe Zaharias was a much more influential all around athlete than Billie Jean. Choosing her makes no sense. As I stated earlier, this was definitely a PC decision that ESPN made and it was a dumb one at that.

A recent Newsweek article asks similar questions about ESPN, as they not only report sports news but are forced to promote a wide variety of sports to survive [rock, paper, scissors, anyone?]. Was Beckham going to the LA Galaxy really that big of a story, or is it covered exhaustively because ESPN shows MLS games?

Regardless, I'll still keep watching the network. Me loves me some Baseball Tonight.

UPDATE:

After doing a little more research, this "Who's Now" segment is even dumber than I thought. The rules behind it states that "The winner of each match-up will advance based upon fan voting (70 percent) and ESPN's three-person panel (30 percent). In the first round, the panel consists of Michael Wilbon, Kirk Herbstreit and Keyshawn Johnson." So this "panel" can actually change the fan voting. Now I like Wilbon and Herbstreit, but Keyshawn is as in touch with the general public as Liza Minnelli. The panel has already overturned four of these match-ups already.

Wiccan Preacher

Yesterday morning I spoke at Cornerstone Christian Church outside of Harrison, Ohio. I noticed that they use the same NIV pew Bibles that we do at Echo. We're in a series on Zechariah at Echo and, since I put the page numbers on our slides, I remembered Zechariah 1 started on page 669. My text yesterday was Daniel 1 so I told them to open up to page 627, just guessing that would be about where it was. I told them that if I nailed the page number we would dismiss church then and there.

The correct page was 625. Close, but no cigar.

Poor folks then had to endure the rest of my message.

Pregnant

Not us, but a title like that always garners a little more attention than others. Interesting article in Christianity Today about the phrase "We're pregnant." The author, a man by the way, believes that sentence to be both inaccurate and demeaning. When men drop that phrase, he believes, they are actually belittling all that the woman endures during and after the pregnancy. I'm not sure if I used the phrase "we're pregnant" as I wasn't, however, I would tell people that "we're having a baby" as I was confident it was mine.

When we had the extended stay in the hospital before Kaelyn was born [and I use "we" because I was there every night throughout], I was a little disappointed that I had very little "rights" as a father. I was not required to sign any official paperwork because Kaelyn was first and foremost the responsibility of Kelly. This ticked me off a bit, and I think it's more reflective of absentee fathers and the society we live in.

However, I think this article makes a valid point as some husbands want a little of the attention as well. Compared to what Kelly went through, I had it easy. She was attached to machines restricting her movement in her bed; I slept on a pull-out chair. She was bedridden for weeks; I was able to go out and run errands. She has scars; I was scarred observing what she had to go through. And this is to stay nothing of all she had to go through to recover AND take care of the baby AND deal with me and my Hepatitis. Kelly went through hell to bring Kaelyn into this world. And I was there.

So no matter how secure I am in my fathering skills far be it from me, or any other of us guys, to declare that "we're pregnant."

I Guess We're Cool

Someone from Texas sent me an email asking about our church website. Pretty random, I thought, so I asked him were he found us. He said we were on the front page of Cool Church Websites. Pretty cool, I guess.

Pictures

In case you need your Kaelyn fix, go over to houseofcarr.com, click on the photos and check 'em out. She's becoming quite the model. I really need to thoroughly update the site, which I still like, but will probably wait till the fall. Also, I thought I'd post this picture I took this morning. They're tearing up the street in front of our house to put a grass median in the road [nothing says class like grass, eh?]. When they ripped the road open, they exposed the old trolley tracks that used to run up Gilbert Avenue. I guess with all the streetcar talk here in the city, it's appropriate. So we get a little glimpse of yesteryear, at least for a few days.

Speaking of Viagra . . .

. . . as I typed the word twice in my previous post, I guess I subconsciously dropped the reference because I spent three-plus hours tonight talking about sex. My current class at Xavier is about sexuality and Biblical interpretation.  This means that we end up discussing a whole spectrum of issues that leave me feeling a tad icky by the end of the night. Although I've preached many times about sexual issues, it's still an embarrassing topic of discussion for me. Contrary to what you may think, we didn't sit around the dinner table in the days of my youth doing Bible studies on Ezekiel 23 [admit it, you looked]. One of my textbooks has pictures of ancient p0rn in it. Kinda creepy. For some reason my internet filter isn't blocking it.

And, no, I didn't choose this course-- it's the only one being offered right now for my program. But don't get all judgmental on me because it's in the Bible, so suck it.

On second thought, forget I even wrote this.

Dream Job

Stick with me here: story and lesson learnt to follow. I'd say we're huge sports fans. I mean, you have to be to watch the All-Star game, right? But in our household, as a result of my wife's rearing, college basketball reigns supreme. I'm not fanatical enough to know all the new recruits to my favorite program. I am, however, always interested in keeping up-to-date on what the team will look like next year.

So I had a good time last night as I went with my neighbor to check out the Deveroes Summer League up at Woodward High School; it's where all the local college players play off-season ball. And my neighbor just happens to cover Xavier basketball for the Enquirer so it was cool opportunity to get some additional insight about some new recruits as well as inquire about the chances for the local teams for the upcoming season. Although there are times that his job looks freakin' awesome and I get insanely jealous, last night helped me realize that there's crap that can offset the cool.

Example: Dustin had to correct something for an article while he was at the game so he stepped out to make a phone call. A Xavier fan recognized him, cornered him [literally], and tried to grill him for info. The fan didn't seem to mind that he was on the phone trying to do his job.

Later, he admitted to me that it happens all the time. When I saw that it was some old codger I suggested that he toss a few Viagra pills on the ground as a way of luring him away.

So good lesson for me last night. Not about Viagra, mind you, but about my present employment. I always thought a sports gig would rock, but I observed last night that even the best jobs can suck at times. I'm extremely happy doing what I do and, even when shown the alternatives, am still feeling good about the career path I chose. But free admission and front row access to major sporting events would be . . . um . . . very nice.

Maybe if I started a church specifically for athletic superstars . . .

Echo Church: The UN-Church

At least according to the pope. Does it bother me that the Pope felt the need to reiterate that the rest of us are just faking it because the RC Church is the only true church?

Not really.

If I were him, I'd be more concerned about taking care of things on the home-front. Recently, a trend has emerged of Protestants converting to Catholicism. But I highly doubt that these people, who are perhaps seeking more liturgy and tradition from their church, intend on fully submitting to Rome. Additionally, I know many Catholics who strongly oppose the Church's teachings. This is where the RC Church is losing its footing.

I find it interesting that in the same document, the Pope desires to revive the old Latin mass. Vatican 2 permitted it to be translated into the native tongue but Benedict states that doesn't mean the Latin should be abolished. Not quite sure if that will affect local parishes, however, it's rather fascinating.

Regardless, we'll still have church [or whatever you prefer to call it] this Sunday night at 6:30.

Why I'm Watching Home Run Derby . . .

. . . is beyond me. I guess it's just ambient noise as Kelly and I try to get some work done. But even though I'm not really paying attention to it, I can't stand listening to Chris Berman do play-by-play of anything. So Dan Patrick is leaving ESPN and Berman's still there? We live in an unjust world.

The worst part about Berman doing the home-run derby is that you know he pulls the same crap every year.  That's why I offer you:

THE CHRIS BERMAN GUIDE TO DOING PLAY-BY-PLAY OF THE HOME RUN DERBY

Step One: Arrive in city of All-Star Game

Step Two: Go to local convenience store.

Step Three: Purchase map of area.

Step Four: Make a list of neighboring communities and/or landmarks.

Step Five: Wait until someone hits a home-run.

Step Six: Reference list, announcing, "he just hit that ball [Insert location here]"

Acceptable locations this year in San Francisco: San Jose, Alcatraz, Sausalito, Golden Gate Bridge, Oakland, Chinatown.

Step Seven: Wait for football season to begin.

About The Dale

The Dale was one of our first Echo core members. And he was actually the first person we didn't know to get involved. The Dale worked with Emily, had just moved to Cincy from New Jersey when he started coming. First, I guess I need to explain why we call him "The" Dale. And it's because . . . I really can't remember why. But it just seemed necessary to add an article to the beginning of his name.

The Dale has been huge in getting Echo off the ground- serving as an occasional worship leader, our resident sound guy, and our very own gourmet chef. Is there anything he can't do? He's such an integral part to our operations that we even ran an announcement slide lamenting his six week absence while in China on business. It's a view looking down on him from the balcony. Here it be:

Recently, Dale's been volunteering at a Korean church that meets in Kenwood. He leads worship for their high schoolers and occasionally preaches at their gatherings. He invited me to come over yesterday because he was speaking and it was really cool. Since Dale's the only one there who speaks English as his first language, everything but his involvement took place in Korean. It was a surreal experience, but very cool. I've been in other countries before, and in multi-lingual settings, but never as fully immersed as that. Dale does a great job working with those kids.

So here's to the The Dale, a man among men.

Oh No They Didn't

Oh yes, they did.

Find more of this crap here.

HT: Challies

Did Ya Rock Out?

Quick survey question: did you watch Al Gore's Live Earth concerts this weekend? I'm a huge music fan and usually try to catch these festivals but caught nary a second of this one. Nor did I hear of anyone else who watched it. For these reasons, I find it difficult to believe that 2 billion people watched it happen. I couldn't find it on the TV, and we have a pretty decent cable selection. And we're to believe that a third of the world watched it?

This sounds like a spin-job, trying to sell that global warming is the most important issue . . . well, in the world.

I didn't feel the funk.

Reds Hot

A little baseball talk this evening. Non-interested parties can skip this one. So the Reds sweep a series for the first time since July of last year. That's hard to believe, but not really. Subtract the quick start last year and this whole decade's been forgettable. We had a good conversation about the ball club before church tonight, maybe you can chime in.

First, David Weathers gives up three straight hits with two outs in the ninth to blow the lead. Tye, who was at the game, thought it was bush for fans to boo him; I read a sports writer's blog tonight who felt the same way, claiming that Weathers has been the MVP this year. I would counter that being the team's MVP in the worst season in 50 years isn't much to write home about. I do think Weathers is a decent pitcher, but isn't closer material. I still say that blowing Harang's gem, he deserved to get booed.

Second, they have to see if they can pull a some trades here quick. Dunn, Hatteberg, and Lohse should all be dealt. I already picked up Joey Votto in my fantasy baseball league anticipating his call up.

Finally, let's not let the Pete Mackanin love-fest get out of control. He's a definite interim, a good stop-gap guy. I'm beginning to think that Bob Castellini is going to get Joe Girardi [as well as Paul O'Neil?!?!?]. That would be huge. The only thing keeping me going is that this team isn't really that far away from contending in the NL Central. If they can get a little chemistry, next year could be very good.

Did I miss anything else, Reds fans?

Eat It

I'll admit: I made a point of tuning in yesterday to to watch Nathan Hot Dogs' Gluttony-fest 2007.  I've noted before my fascination with this competition, but this year's might have been the most interesting yet. On one side you had the legend, Kobayashi. On the other, the upstart American Joey Chestnut. Chestnut claimed his first victory over Kobayashi earlier this year, but yesterday was the Super Bowl of competitive eating. And Kobayashi nursing a sore jaw had me worried. But we all received the match-up we were waiting for: they both shattered world records, with Chestnut prevailing. This result will jettison the sport into a higher stratosphere.

At least you think so if you were listening to the commentators.

The only thing about the event that really left me scratching my head was some of the things the play-by-play guys said. They couldn't be serious, but since they weren't joking throughout the competition dialogue, you can't be sure.

First, they offered that yesterday's event, "could be the greatest moment in American sports history." Alright, we all get excited so we can let that slide. But another statement was even better: “Google the word ‘hero’ tomorrow, and you’ll get Abe Lincoln and Joey Chestnut.” Well, I actually tried that, and neither of their names showed up. Sucks for Lincoln, I guess.

Memo to hot dog contest announcers: allow the sport to stand on its own merit; don't over-hype it. Competitive eating doesn't need a Don King or Flavor Flav person selling the sport the event, hyping it beyond belief. Things will work out just fine if you let the eaters do the talking . . . or something like that.

What's in a hot dog, anyway?

My Evil Daughter

A belated Kaelyn story for you: A week ago, on Kelly's work in the office, Kaelyn and I were playing around all throughout the house. At the top of our stairwell we've added a metal kiddie gate to prevent her from doing a face dive down the stairs. So now, Kaelyn is fascinated with this gate and likes to stand in the middle of it while it's open [with adult supervision, obviously]. Usually Kelly does this with her, but we were having a good time with it.

As we were playing there Kaelyn would look me in the eye and cross her foot past the gate towards the stairs; she would then tap her foot a few times and then pull it back. Then she would bend over and take her finger and tap the carpet on the other side of the gate, all while looking at me. She repeated that, foot then hand, over and over again. It was cute and I thought nothing of it.

So the next day, when Kelly was home, we were up on the stairs by the gate repeating the scene; Kaelyn was doing the hand and foot thing while grinning at me. But when Kelly notices this, she firmly says, "no!" and Kaelyn got a guilty look. Apparently Kelly has repeatedly told Kaelyn that she isn't allowed to touch the carpet on the other side of the gate. So the day before, when she was looking at me while crossing the line, she knew that she was breaking one of mommy's rules. She was just seeing how far she would get before I stopped her.

Now you know I love my daughter but I think this shows again that, even at a young age, there is an inclination to do wrong. I've been thinking a lot about rebellion lately; not overthrowing the government, mind you, but how it seems to be an almost natural response to authority. Is obedience figuring out how to suppress our rebellion? Just thinking out loud here, but this anecdote would fit well into the conversation.

And I was holding out hope for a perfect child . . .

Foreknowledge

Just sitting here this afternoon looking over tonight's message with the Reds game in the background as ambient noise. When the 4th inning started they were leading 5-4. A half inning later and they're losing 8-5.

I am neither a prophet nor the son of a prophet but I would venture to say that Jerry Narron will be fired soon.

Management has no choice.

UPDATE: The truth will set you free . . . for a new job.

Even Worse Almighty

A few days ago I wrote about the aggressive marketing campaign the producers of the movie Evan Almighty has targeted at churches. What still bothers me about this is that the film itself is decent enough to stand on its own merits. But they pushed hard, nonetheless, to try to recoup the $250million they dropped into production and marketing. Something must have worked, as it was the #1 movie last weekend, but I think the results were still a little disappointing. To keep the movie fresh in churches' minds they sent out an advertising email this week. I was privy to be a recipient and found some of it laughable. Here's the main part of the email:

If you didn't know, the producers took advantage of an idea that Steve Sjogren made popular among evangelical churches and encouraged random acts of kindness [actually, they reworked it to fit into the "ARK" acronym, calling them "acts of random kindness"]. Notice how they use this to push the movie:

If you haven't yet seen Evan Almighty, then do an act of random kindness for yourself and your congregation . . . go see Evan Almighty today!

Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder? What did they just say?

So in this new age of church/movie cross promotion we encourage good deeds: give out water bottles, feed the poor, visit the elderly, stuff like that. But an even greater act of kindness would be to go watch a movie. Incredibly selfless ministry. I've been ministering this way since I was but a lad [by this standard, I'd say watching Mr Wrong was akin to a missions trip]. As a Biblical scholar I can vouch that somewhere in the Scriptures a commandment reads, "Be ye kind: consumeth."

Also, if I plan on going to a movie after an email prompt, is it really "random"? Just wondering.

And how does this random act benefit my congregation? Does it help them to know that their pastor had the opportunity to go to the movies this week? Is there a correlation between my popcorn consumption and tithing?

I have yet to receive my random act of kindness reminder to go see the new Die Hard movie. Still I think I'll go.

Remember, I'm doing it for my church.

Wouldn't It Be Funny . . .

. . . in light of this wall-to-wall iPhone coverage if, at 5:59pm EST this evening, Jesus came back to earth to signal the end of the world? Spending the last day of your life waiting in line would be . . . well, hell, I guess. It would make for some interesting Judgement Day conversations:

St Peter: So what you been up to, buddy?

iPhone Customer: Not much, just waiting in line all week to be the first to get a new iPhone.

St Peter: Yeah, I heard about those things. They're supposed to be pretty nice.

iPhone Customer: Dude, you have no idea: iPod, video, internet, phone, all in one. It's awesome. I just couldn't live without it.

St Peter: True that. When I was being crucified upside-down I was thinking, "Boy, this is a raw deal, but it's cool. Who would want to live in a world without the iPhone, anyway."

iPhone Customer: See, now I think you're mocking me.

St Peter: Oh, I am. But you know what really sucks?

iPhone Customer: What's that?

St Peter: The only place where you can get AT&T's coverage in the afterlife is in hell.

iPhone Customer: Son of A . . .

St Peter: Excuse me?

iPhone Customer: Um, nothing.

St Peter: I thought so.

An iPhone Thought

I'm not getting one because I'm cheap, but I can't remember this much hype over one product. Even if the iPhone doesn't conquer the world, I think it will end up transforming the cell phone industry. I found this local news story fascinating, as it describes how businesses are reacting to the iPhone. One quote in particular from an executive was intriguing:

"At this juncture we're not planning on testing the iPhone, but that could change depending on the acceptance of the phone."

So if it's popular, they'll get it. Way to be a visionary. Similarly, must feel good to be Verizon who passed over the opportunity to be the phone carrier of the project.

Honestly, my gut says the Apple's not gonna claim the market they think they will. But this could become a watershed event that will change they way we interact with computers.

Time will tell.

From Westside To Wall Street

Cornhole made page one of the Wall Street Journal today. Just another step towards total world domination. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about when I say "Cornhole" then it means 1) you're not from Cincinnati and 2) you're probably shocked by my potty talk. It's a bean-bag tossing game that's going national, if not global [look for it in the 2012 Olympics]. Legend says that Cornhole was a Westside creation.

If you're not from Cincy, have you heard of Cornhole? And you transplants from the Queen City, do people in your new locale know about it?