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Introduction To The House of Carr
Introduction To The House of Carr

The Real Old Testament

Here's an official Beit Carr endorsement:

Last August, through an obscure Google search, I came across a website for an independent movie produced by a couple of brothers out in California. They made a comedy movie morphing MTV's The Real World and the book of Genesis. The result: The Real Old Testament. This December they put out the DVD so I pre-ordered a copy that arrived right before Christmas. It was everything I thought it would be and more. I honestly think that this is the funniest movie I've seen all year [sure, the year just started, but the movie has staying power].

The film traces the paths of the major characters of Genesis in a documentary type format, totally mimicking The Real World. Like the show, participants do one-on-one "reflection interviews" with the camera, describing their thoughts and feelings as the story progresses. And yes, they even have someone portraying God [co-director Curtis Hannum] who allows us a chance to see The Lord's true opinions about creation ["if I had it to do all over again, I don't think I'd create ticks"].

With movies like this, there's always a fine-line to walk between comedy and blasphemy. But this movie finds its way between the two. I'm not sure if Curtis and Paul Hannum [the movie's creators] intended their movie for church use, but it could be. The Real Old Testament is surprising accurate to the Biblical text; they even put chapter and verse on the screen as each scene begins. And they don't hold back from the seedier parts of the storyline: How did Cain go about killing Abel? Was Abraham really that gullible? What were Lot's daughters thinking? And what was up with Rachel and her mandrakes?

I won't lie to you: this is not for the ultra-conservative crowd. Adam and Eve are shown naked; though digitally "blurred out" they're still rather exposed. And there is some foul language, which is also [mostly] bleeped out but still discernible. But despite all this, I definitely recommend this movie because the message remains authentic. I think this film would resonate with people who are struggling to connect Scripture that is thousands of years old to life today. To them, this film might actually make the Bible seem more real. I'm trying to figure out how to use it in our current message series. Maybe I should partner with these guys and produce The Real Old Testament Bible study?

If you really need to be sold on the movie, go to the website, click on video clips and check out the "Covenant" clip. It shows God explaining to Abraham the covenant of circumcision. All men will resonate with Abraham's line, "YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!?!?!" I can't remember ever laughing so hard. I guarantee, if you watch that clip, you'll get the DVD too.

Good flick. Two thumbs up.

Man Up!

Here's hoping that the Bengals will be able to keep up a weekend of Cincinnati sports domination.

The Bearcats pulled out their tenth win in a row at Marquette [you thumped previously unbeaten UConn this week]. The huge performance of the day was turned in by Eric Hicks who posted the first triple-double by a Cincinnati player since 2001. Yes, Eric did man-up. UC is set to play at Connecticut on Monday night.

And now, from the disrespect department, all I've heard all week from every national commentator is how the Bengals don't stand a chance against Pittsburgh tomorrow. I think that crow will be on the Bristol, Connecticut cafeteria menu tomorrow night. My prediction: Cincinnati by six, 27-21.

"WHO-DEY!" is what is say. "WHO-DEY!" indeed.

Daniel, My Brother . . .

With the end of 7th Heaven in sight, apparently the American viewing audience was in need of another television show detailing the life of a minister and his family. NBC is attempting to fill the void with their new show The Book of Daniel.

I'm always interested in the media's interpretations on faith, so I decided to watch tonight's two-hour premier. The best word I could use to define the show would be "spastic." In case you didn't know, the show has nothing to do with the Biblical book of Daniel. Actually, I don't think it has anything to do with anything.

Let me try to fill you in on the series storyline:

Daniel [last name Webster] is a pill-popping Episcopal priest married to a martini muzzling wife. Their raising a family where one of son is gay, the other son is an adopted Chinese teen who's having sex with a deacon's daughter, and their only daughter sells drugs [but doesn't use them] to make a little extra money. The priest's family has a maid who smokes the chronic that she steals from the daughter. The priest's father is a bishop who's having an affair with the priest's governing bishop, all while his wife is suffering from Alzheimers. Things get bad when the priest's brother-in-law, who handles the church's money, embezzles the funds and then dies of a heart attack. The brother-in-laws wife was having an affair with his secretary. To find the lost funds, the priest enlists his a member of the Catholic clergy with mafia connections. And if this wasn't enough, the priest constantly converses with a Life-Saver distributing Jesus who looks like he's straight out of 1970.

I think that about covers it.

Thanks, NBC, for producing such a realistic view of what it's like to be in the ministry. I only wish my life was as tame as old Daniel's.

I'm just saying the Peacock Network better watch out: they're going to get Uncle Pat talking again.

Lose Yourself

Dear Pat Robertson,

Thanks for trying to help out, but we don't think we need you anymore. You've become everyone's favorite crazy uncle- always putting your foot in your mouth whenever you speak. We never know what you're going to say next. From calling down God's wrath on a small Pennsylvania town, to calling for political assassinations of South American dictators, you've always kept us guessing what you'll say next. We'll admit: it's been somewhat entertaining.

But you've changed, to much for us to stomach anymore. We when you find yourself on the same side as the President of Iran [the same guy who believes the Holocaust was a myth], you've probably gone too far. Calling Ariel Sharon's stroke a punishment from God because he handed over the Gaza Strip to the Palestinians? Come on, Pat. Now you've become that embarrassing uncle- the one who likes to expose himself in public. No one wants to see that at family reunions; we're trying to eat here.

Plus, as a result of you're comments, we keep having to apologize for you all over town. Whenever we talk about the family, everyone brings up our demented Uncle Pat who goes around waving his "privates" at people. We can't keep putting out your fires. It's getting old . . . kinda like you. That's why we're suggesting that it's time to hang it up.

You had a good run there, Pat. I mean, you ran for President! Isn't that enough? Why not find a good retirement community where you can say all the crap you want while playing Bridge [far, far away from any microphones]? It's about that time. We hear Florida's nice this time of year. And you look pretty good in flip-flops.

Sincerely,
Sane Christians Everywhere

p.s. We'll let you know about the location for Thanksgiving dinner. We're thinking about cancel this year.

Hitting the Links

Every once in awhile you have to practice tough love. This is one of those times.

It was time to redo the links on the right side of the page. I try to recommend sites that I frequently read. That means I've had to drop some existing sites off the list. Some of my friends have great things to say, but have been keeping there mouths shut. The MIA bloggers have to go [is it just me or has Coates' blog has become the Jimmy Hoffa of the world wide web?]. Perhaps this move on my part will get these guys back posting again. We can only hope. Like I said, it's all done in love.

But, on the brighter side, you'll notice some new additions. I listed the sites of all my favorite sports teams. As [former?] Jets coach Herm Edwards says, "You play to win the game! Hello?"

And check out some of those blogs over there. Evan Casey has finally arrived, Jeremy Furniss is ready to talk about his kid [who could be born any day], and, most notably, one Dr. Jon Weatherly of Cincinnati Christian University now displays his wit online for all to see.

I know if you have time to read this, you have time to check these sites out.

College Football Is Done

Since I stayed up past midnight to watch college football's championship game [the BCS is still lame], I thought I'd at least jot a few late-night thoughts . . .

Why start this game so late? Kelly went to bed five hours ago. There is no west coast bias until it comes to the starting times of these games. Kick-off wasn't until 8:30. Are California's ratings so important that you give kids [and people who have to wake up early] in the Eastern Time Zone no opportunity to watch the best games? You wonder why kids these days aren't as into the major sports. They've never been able to stay up late enough to watch playoff/championship games.

Is instant replay worth it? College football held out from instant replay until this past year. All season it was working well until this game; this one has been a mess. This officiating crew has had way too many calls to the booth. Instant replay did even more to prolong this game.

Dan Fouts is unbearable. Playing quarterback for the Chargers doesn't make you a great color-commentator. Didn't his unsuccessful stint on Monday Night Football teach us anything? And I really do love that Keith Jackson is still announcing games, but I think it's time for him to hang it up. It takes him ten seconds to get around to describing what actually happened. Team these two guys together and a great game becomes a little annoying. My take: drop Fouts and I'll tolerate Jackson.

Vince Young is incredible. I just watched him run in a touchdown to take the lead with 19 seconds left in the game. Barring a miracle, Texas will be the national champs. Even though his delivery is ugly, he gets the ball out quick. I know everyone is hyping Reggie Bush as the number one pick, but Vince Young might be able to be what everyone thought that Michael Vick would.

I'm glad I'm not at Mason anymore. Yep, Texas pulled it out. That being said, I would hate to have to be around Troy Clark tomorrow. Troy, the student minister at CCM, is a huge Texas fan. He wears that burnt orange crap everywhere. Of course, Troy takes Thursdays as his off-day. I bet he might just come into work anyway just to gloat. At least I won't have to listen to him.

It's way too late. Time for sleep.

Back To School

My nephew Tyler had his tonsils removed today, which meant that his brother Kasey needed someone to take him to preschool. Not only that, but it was also the day that Kasey's mom was supposed to be class helper. Who would step up to take her place? Enter Uncle Steve.

Let the fun begin.

It's been awhile since I spent a few hours with a bunch of four-year olds. It might be awhile before I do it again. That being the case, let me fill you in on the lessons I learned on my day back in school.

Carpet squares are dumb. I can understand if you want to give the kids something to sit on so they don't get dust all over their bums. Carpet squares are perfect for tile floors. But they were using carpet squares on a carpeted area. What's the point? It's like wearing two layers of socks. I think it stems back to Buddy cutting a deal with local educators to get some cheap advertising.

You can do anything with markers, glue sticks, and paper plates. I was in charge of the craft table, which was making a weather wheel out of paper plates. I guess being a parent means an endless line of paper plates crafts coming home from school and work. If Nickelodeon ever makes MacGyver for kids, paper plates would be in every episode.

Bad aim starts early. Part of being a good room parent was making sure the classroom was tidy. This included the bathrooms- bathrooms being used by four-year old boys who had just recently become potty trained. Yeah, I was wiping up a lot of pee today. Unfortunately, it doesn't get much better thirty years later . . . um, with every other male but me.

I still hate B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Honestly, [special thanks to Gwen Stefani because I no longer need to use spell check for that word] I still can't stand that fruit. I don't think it's the taste so much as the texture. Of course, that was today's snack so I had to suck it up and eat the thing to be a good example. The things I do for the kids.

I'm ready for fatherhood. It was fun seeing the little girls today. I know most guys want a boy so they can do cool father/son stuff, but I'm really looking forward to having a little girl. They're adorable, they're precious, and less evil than little boys.

Plus they have better aim.

Back To Work

So I woke up this morning and went to work. It was a shorter commute than normal. I put on a pair of shoes, walked downstairs and started working.

Maybe I should back up a bit: I quit Panera.

It happened right before Christmas. Apologies for not blogging about it, but I wanted to concentrate on doing nothing over the holidays [note: mission completed]. After three months of employment, the end has come.

The purpose for me working at Panera was twofold: 1) to meet people from the community with whom I could build relationships and 2) to make a little extra money on the side. Unfortunately, due to the fast-paced environment, I was unable to develop good relationships with patrons. My job was to get people in and out of the store as fast as possible, not to get to know them better. And while I was making money, it became more than a part time job. I should take it as a compliment that they appreciated my work ethic but that meant more hours than I needed. Panera, though a fine company, is extremely dysfunctional and the daily chaos was really getting to me.

There were other things at work here. At the end of last year, I was primed to get two different job offers that would've paid much better than Panera. I thought I would get offered both; I didn't get either. Kelly and I sat down and we discussed what my goals are. The reason we left our previous ministry, the reason we moved to Walnut Hills, is to start this church. I've been disappointed that I haven't been able to commit enough time to Echo.

This feeling has been brewing in me for a few weeks now. My first day at Panera was the day after my last day at Mason. I haven't had ample time to invest in our new ministry. And it was starting to bother me. Plus, coming home exhausted after eight hours of work, I found myself putting off church tasks in order to rest.

All of this led us to the following decision: I'm going to spend the first few months this year "full-time" at Echo. How long "a few months" will be remains to be seen. Our community has set a goal to have 60 people in our core group by June. This is a lofty goal, but I feel like I need to do some of the background work to help us get there.

The thing that kept me from making this decision was my lack of trust in God. Throughout this process, God has provided for us in every way. But the thought of not being able to do it all myself has kept me from diving in. Now I'm ready and . . .

I'm so excited, I just can't hide it.

Just this first day I was able to get some things done that I've been putting off for weeks. And, being a self-starter, I think working from home will work out for me. So I was "in to work" at 6:45 this morning, called it quits when Kelly came home this afternoon, and had a good first day.

Oh, and my boss is the coolest guy I know.

Christianity in Iraq

I'm going to have to talk a little politics here, so sorry in advance to those I offend.
The President's decision to invade Iraq was supported by many evangelicals who lauded Bush's goal of giving the gift of freedom to the Iraqi people as "the Christian thing to do."

But the scene now playing out in the newly liberated country is that of many Christians fleeing Iraq for fear of persecution. NPR did a report [as did the Chicago Tribune] about Christians celebrating this Christmas in Iraq and, apparently, Christians there felt more protected under Sadaam's regime. They claimed there used be tolerance toward Christianity whereas, now, the country's Muslim leadership [95% of Iraqis practice Islam] is suffocating them. Another reason for alarm is the newly established Iraqi government. All the nation's power is being divided between different Muslim sects, providing no voice for Iraqi Christians. The wisest thing to do is for Christians to flee to nearby Jordan.

As American Christians lined up to support the President's decision to invade Iraq, did they even consider the well-being of their Iraqi brothers and sisters? And was establishing an Iraqi democracy worth it, if it ends up being an Islamic dominated government? It seems no one bothered to ask these questions beforehand.

Now this isn't meant as an insult to our troops serving in Iraq; they have a job to do and are giving it their all. Nor do I propose an immediate withdrawal from Iraq; we made the mess, so we need to clean it up. And this isn't an endorsement of the Hussein regime; he was lunatic and a tyrant. I just find it ironic that the very people who contend that America was established by Christians and for Christians, those who decry separation of church and state, blindly supported the Iraqi War- a war fought to [re]establish a country for Islam by Islam where Christians would demand separation of church [mosque] and state. To invade or not to invade? Which decision was the Christian thing to do? Just asking . . .

This story just begs the question that should haunt followers of Jesus who live in America: to which kingdom do our loyalties lie?

We should never stop asking the tough questions.

Is That You, Dave Shula?

Way to go, Bengals.

Get the city excited with your best season in fifteen years, make the playoffs and then end the season by laying two enormous eggs: losing to Buffalo at home and then embarrassing yourself at Kansas City. Cincinnati goes from being the team no one wanted to see in the postseason to the one everyone wants to play. Our defensive secondary couldn't stop an arthritic turtle walking up the side of a mountain while towing a motor home. Peyton Manning is praying to see orange and black in a couple weeks.

This will be a suicidal week around town as leery Bengal fans experience flashbacks from the 1990's. Backing into the playoffs doesn't feel very nice.

Love You Mucho

For the second time since Steve has had his blog, I am taking control. The last time was for mean-spirited wishes after a certain UK vs. UC basketball game. But this time I take over to wish Steve a very happy 30th birthday.

Hey babe. How can I best wish you a happy birthday? I thought this would be the best card to give you -- you in your blog-happy world these days! I want you to read how much you mean to me.

What can I say about the man I've seen you become? I enjoyed meeting you, dating you, and marrying you in your 20s. What a decade, just in the years I've seen you experience! But it's also been a time of growth for you. I've seen God work on your heart to make you into the man you are today. I've grown to love you more and more through the years.

You've always been passionate about life and God's work. But that passion has matured over the years as you've allowed God to move and you've stepped out of the way to let Him lead, even though it's required patience. This year in particular has been such a blessing for me to watch you follow God in ways you've never stepped out in faith before. And I'm so happy to be here with you on the journey. I've loved learning to become a minister alongside you.

You've got so much to look forward to as you begin this new decade. You'll be a dad soon -- how cool that will be!? I can't wait to see you in action! I know you'll be great! And you'll see Echo Church grow and continue to accomplish God's purposes. And you'll even get to start off your 30th year with a trip to Vegas! Woo hoo! : )

There's no one I'd rather spend time with than you. You make me laugh, and we have so much fun together. I can't thank God enough for creating you and introducing you into the world 30 years ago. I'm so glad I get to spend the rest of life with you!

OK. Enough mushiness for today. People reading this might get a little nauseous by this point! : )
So thanks, everyone, for bearing with me on this. But I wanted a little public declaration so that everyone can see how proud I am to be Steve's wife.

Love you, babe. You're a twentysomething no longer. But that's OK. Thirty on you is pretty hot! : )

Kelly

30 on 30

Taking a twist off a line from Van Halen's Hot For Teacher,

"I don't feel thirty."

As I close the door on my twenties, I have to salute a good decade. In the past ten years, a lot has happened in my life:

I graduated from both college and seminary.
I started playing golf.
I used the internet/email for the first time.
I water-skied for the first time.
I asked Kelly to marry me.
I got ordained.
We got married.
I took my first plane ride.
I started my first full-time job.
I held four different ministries.
I lived in six different locations.
I owned four different cars.
I captained a regional champion soccer team.
I coached two years of collegiate soccer.
I performed my first wedding and first funeral.
We bought our first house.
We bought our first new car.
I taught about God over 200 times, not including any Sunday School classes I taught.
I visited four countries on three different continents.
I became an uncle.
I was published in national magazines and local newspapers.
I started a new church.

It's easy to remember these good times, forgetting all the bad stuff that happened during this decade of my life. I don't fear my thirties, as I have much to look forward to [fatherhood, for one]. It's just another decade to do a bunch of new stuff.

I say, "Bring it on."

Surprise, Surprise!

So Kelly tells me, "You're having a birthday party tonight."

Cool. She had been selling me this whole "let's just you and me spend your birthday together" bit, which I bought hook, line, and sinker. So she pulled one over on me. Good move, babe. It wasn't a full surprise party, more of an "open house" type party but I had no idea who was showing up. So whenever someone knocked at the door, it was like "Let's Make A Deal." It was just a small gathering of folks, but a great way to spend the night before my birthday. We probably told way too many stories from ten years ago.

Kelly had everyone bring a 2-liter of Diet Cherry Coke, so I have enough to last me at least a week. So not only will I turn 30, but I'll have something to drown my sorrows with.

So in under an hour, I'll leave my twenties in the dust. C'est La Vie, third decade on earth. Bring on number four.

Insult To Injury

In an article describing the extravagant birthday party thrown for LeBron James, the following quote was included:

"James' birthday is Dec. 30, a date he shares with golfer Tiger Woods, who like James had a rapid rise to superstardom."

Once again, I get no shout-out. Tiger and I were born on the exact same date, while LeBron came along nine years later. At what point are these guys going to finally acknowledge that they're still trying to live up to my life accomplishments? Sad, guys. Just sad.