Back To School

My nephew Tyler had his tonsils removed today, which meant that his brother Kasey needed someone to take him to preschool. Not only that, but it was also the day that Kasey's mom was supposed to be class helper. Who would step up to take her place? Enter Uncle Steve.

Let the fun begin.

It's been awhile since I spent a few hours with a bunch of four-year olds. It might be awhile before I do it again. That being the case, let me fill you in on the lessons I learned on my day back in school.

Carpet squares are dumb. I can understand if you want to give the kids something to sit on so they don't get dust all over their bums. Carpet squares are perfect for tile floors. But they were using carpet squares on a carpeted area. What's the point? It's like wearing two layers of socks. I think it stems back to Buddy cutting a deal with local educators to get some cheap advertising.

You can do anything with markers, glue sticks, and paper plates. I was in charge of the craft table, which was making a weather wheel out of paper plates. I guess being a parent means an endless line of paper plates crafts coming home from school and work. If Nickelodeon ever makes MacGyver for kids, paper plates would be in every episode.

Bad aim starts early. Part of being a good room parent was making sure the classroom was tidy. This included the bathrooms- bathrooms being used by four-year old boys who had just recently become potty trained. Yeah, I was wiping up a lot of pee today. Unfortunately, it doesn't get much better thirty years later . . . um, with every other male but me.

I still hate B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Honestly, [special thanks to Gwen Stefani because I no longer need to use spell check for that word] I still can't stand that fruit. I don't think it's the taste so much as the texture. Of course, that was today's snack so I had to suck it up and eat the thing to be a good example. The things I do for the kids.

I'm ready for fatherhood. It was fun seeing the little girls today. I know most guys want a boy so they can do cool father/son stuff, but I'm really looking forward to having a little girl. They're adorable, they're precious, and less evil than little boys.

Plus they have better aim.