Not So Great

I finally rented the movie Alexander. I've always been interested in the life of Alexander the Great, the most important in the Bible not actually mentioned in the Bible. 300 years before Jesus lived, Alexander conquered the known world. He helped shape its culture, religion, and infrastructure. And he did it all before the age of 32, when he died suddenly. He was part genius, but mostly lunatic. He indeed thought he was a god. Nonetheless, he's a fascinating historical figure. I have a biography of Alexander I got for Christmas last year [thanks Dave and Bev] that discussed in-depth his reign over the world.

So finally a new movie was made, chronicling his life. Sure it got some bad reviews, but I chalked it up to film critics playa' hatin'. I was extremely disappointed I didn't get to see it in the theatre but now, after watching it, I wish I had never even rented it.

Oliver Stone has served up some lemons in the past, but this one is huge. The film has ADD. Stone couldn't settle for simply telling the story, but made it a series of flashbacks and flash-forwards, enough to make JFK seem normal. Colin Farrel just didn't work here, Angelina Jolie was a bit much and I didn't even like Val Kilmer in it. And Stone just messed around with the facts and gave us a bunch of fiction to try to sell the story.

Not only this but, never thought I'd say this I'm finally getting fed up with the huge war scene. Braveheart, the first of the "modern movies" to show us a massive battle, was amazing. Unfortunately Mel Gibson messed up by trying to replicate it in The Patriot. It worked for Lord of the Rings, and I even liked it with Russell Crowe in Gladiator. But Brad Pitt in Troy, George Lucas' laughable new Star Wars episodes, and Oliver Stone's Alexander are just plain wannabes. Memo to Hollywood: huge battle scenes are the trucker hats of 2006- a bit tacky.

Where have all the good storytellers gone? It seems that unless Peter Jackson is making the movie, you're not sure what you'll get. I don't know about you, but I'm ready for some better movie choices. Can't wait for Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season.