About Basketball

I really think this year's NCAA tourney is wide open. After glancing at the brackets, I'm thinking about picking some serious upsets. As of 11:50 on Sunday night, I like Georgetown. For us UC fans, the most disturbing news was Syracuse not making the tournament. With a 10-6 record in the Big East, what more can you ask for? Apparently, only the ACC is capable of getting love from the selection committee. They got the most bids of any conference when this was a weak year from them. The Bearcats got screwed last year because the Big East was too deep. Maybe, in retrospect, the Big East jump wasn't the best idea.

Either way, this will be an awesome tournament. Make your picks.

Ain't Even Done With The Night

A story: So tonight my teaching was entitled, "Pocket Change." I taught from Matthew 22, touching on the issue of paying taxes to Caesar and the previous parable about the wedding banquet. While the question was about pocket change, the parable encouraged people to make an full transformation for God, not limiting our discipleship to changing mere pockets of our lives. See, what I did there? I used it as a double-entendre.

Sidenote: I'm so proud of myself for using the the term "double-entendre." Kelly had to help me with the spelling, though.

Anyway, during my introduction, I had people empty their pockets. I wanted to get people thinking about pockets. I then proceeded to talk about the evolution of the pocket, how it was used to hold valuables. Then I made the transition into the sermon. I swear, it was quite witty. You should've been there. We'll have the mp3 up soon on iTunes.

Why do I tell you all this? Well, about 15 minutes into my message the batteries in my wireless headset died. I asked The Dale at the soundboard if we had any more batteries. Inexplicably, we had none. It just so happened that Everett Brewer, a local minister who's known me most of my life, visited church tonight. He asked if the mic took double-A batteries. It does. He just so happened to have two of them with him . . . in his pocket. I swear, it was like we planned it.

All this to say that I had a great night. There are so many things that have happened with Echo that aren't at all planned, but are purely providential. Sure this little battery thing isn't much at all, but I think it's indicative of how things have unfolded throughout this process.

God is to move in our church. He's bringing us people who are continually trying to figure out their faith. We're a community hungry for more. And we're just getting warmed up.

How Sad Is It . . .

. . . that Xavier, Wright State, Miami, Eastern Kentucky, Ohio State, Indiana, and Kentucky will all make the NCAA tournament and UC is looking forward to next year? I'll be leaving town for a few days which means I'll have to push out my brackets Sunday night. Without knowing how things will set up, my Final Four is North Carolina, Wisconsin, UCLA, and Georgetown.

Subject to change, of course . . .

Why I Smiled Today

• My wife looks great with her new haircut. I never knew how much someone else's hair would affect my life.

• My daughter is amazingly cute. I think she wakes up every morning convinced to babble incoherent phrases that I find absolutely adorable.

• I figured out the angle I want to take with my message this Sunday. I usually spend the first part of the week researching the text and pull it all together thematically by the end of the week. I've recently noticed that my best message ideas usually come to me while I'm in the shower [sometime between "rinse" and "repeat"]. Wonder if my laptop is waterproof . . .

• The sun was shinning. The weather was gorgeous. And the weatherman says next week will be even better. I'm stoked for spring. And for the extra hour with the early time change is most welcome.

• I had the chance to drive around with Aaron Burgess today. While I can't really repeat anything we talk about, but it can be rather funny. Maybe he'll start a blog again soon.

• Had lunch with some people who are wanting to plant a church in Over-The-Rhine. The neighborhood could really use a new Bible-believing church.

• Talked to Jade Kendall with Hope Inner City. They want to start numerous churches in impoverished urban areas here in Cincinnati. Jade and his wife Kim are rehabbing a church in Lower Price Hill, ready for their first child due in April. These people are amazing.

Still smiling.

Ten Years Later

When my dad had his workshop in our basement, I was always enamored with a metal sign he had that simply stated:

Flood Level Jan 26, 1937 79.9 feet

The '37 flood is the biggest flood of the Ohio River on record since, well, I'm guessing Noah built his boat. It's rumored that the flood level was actually higher but the statistic was manipulated because there were insurance companies that would have had to pay out if the level reached eighty feet or higher. Not only was the flood cataclysmic, it took place in the middle of winter and freezing temperatures. Here's what it looked like:

With the advent of dams along the Ohio, I never thought my eyes would witness this kind of disaster. But ten years ago the river flooded again; it was an incredible display of how a little extra precipitation can do a lot of damage.

I was in college and I monitored how news outlets said we were in for some flooding. In early March of 1997 I began to make almost daily trips down to the river to see the waters rise. I had never seen anything like this. It was eerie to walk across the Suspension Bridge and see the river just a few feet underneath. I watched a guy in a kayak maneuvering through the parking lots underneath Riverfront Stadium. The river was almost double its normal width. Here's what it looked like then:

I still think the craziest scene was Dayton and Bellevue, Kentucky. Dayton had built a floodwall while Bellevue didn't. Here was the result:

The river crested at a little over 64 feet, well short of 1937's record, but still devastating. The city of Falmouth in Kentucky was virtually wiped out. I worked for my dad's company throughout college and we ended up working on some houses upriver in New Richmond that were completely flooded. It was a generational flood. Not sure I'll see it like that ever again.

Living in a river town, you always have to respect the river. And this city surely does.

House Cleaning

Quick hits:

• No Tuesday's With Kaelyn video this week [again]. Between all of us being ill the past few weeks, we've wrapped up filming for now. I'm thinking it'll be at least another week before I try again. Fortunately, my new digital camera takes camcorder quality recording, so production quality/diversity should increase throughout the spring and summer

• If you're interested in what we're doing at Echo, be sure to check out our podcasts. This link takes you to iTunes where you can download the mp3. I find it interesting that, among the people who download our podcast, this is what else they listen to:

-Willow Creek in Chicago: Bill Hybles and me = peas and carrots. -Catalyst Conference: for young, hip Jesus people. -Imago Dei Church in Oregon: Rick McKinley can throw down. -Mars Hill Church in Seattle: Driscoll rocks.

-And finally, people who download Echo messages also download Strong Bad Emails. Who is Strong Bad, you ask? You must find out. Click here.

• Speaking of Echo, you can check out the slide backgrounds I make for our Powerpoint here.

• Today Kaelyn and I watched some Sesame Street for the first time. I better watch how addicted she gets to that show. Elmo makes me want to punch a wall.

That's all.

A Bone To Pick

After an evening of church, when we return home to decompress, I usually enjoy a lighter viewing fare. So last night we chose to watch The Amazing Race instead of The Discovery Channel's controversial Jesus Tomb. But I did record it. And I carved out some time today to watch it. Sidebar: I must again affirm that DVR is a wonderful thing. I know, it performs the same task as VCR's did for years, but it makes the process ten times easier.

Like I noted last week, I'm not too concerned about this contrived Jesus tomb issue, but I thought I'd at least note a few items that I took away from the television presentation.

1) The Lost Tomb program featured Canadian filmmaker/scholar Simcha Jacobovici. He hosts a show that I like to watch on the History International Channel called The Naked Archaeologist. In case you're wondering, the show is about Israeli archaeology and not Simcha's nakedness. Even though I suspect Jocaobovici is Jewish, he is usually very supportive of the New Testament story. That's why his participation in this documentary surprised me a little. But, then again, he is Canadian, so can he really be trusted?

2) The involvement of James Tabor, author of The Jesus Dynasty, and the dependence upon the Gnostic gospels as proof for the tomb claim should be an obvious warning sign. What the producers of this film did was tie together a bunch of conspiracy theories to see if at least some of the accusations would stick. As it is, no reputable archaeologist or scholar will attach his/her name to the Tomb theory.

3) Of all the authorities noted, there was a little blurb at the beginning of the documentary that I found noteworthy. Noted scholar John Dominic Crossan made the statement that even if the bones of Jesus were discovered, it would not affect his faith. Crossan believes that Christianity isn't dependent on the resurrection of Jesus to be a viable faith.

This is a position that many liberal scholars try to take, yet it is a poor position to stake out. They think that they are doing Christians a favor by reinterpreting what it means to follow Jesus but, in reality, they dilute their faith. The resurrection is indicative of our ability to have life after death. The apostle Paul explained this in 1 Corinthians 15:16-19:

"For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are to be pitied more than all men."

Our faith hinges on the resurrection of Jesus. To deny this is to deny Scripture and a few thousand years of church history/tradition. That's why this claimed discovery is a direct affront to the Christian faith. Fortunately, there's not much to the Lost Tomb.

So feel free to go on with your lives now.

Madness

I missed the Duke/UNC game yesterday but apparently the most interesting play occurred with under a minute remaining. When Tar Heel Tyler Hansbrough missed his free throw, he pulled down a rebound and went back up for a shot. Dukie Gerald Henderson decided it was time to deliver the forearm shiver to Hansbrough's nose, leaving it a bloody mess. Even more disturbing than the carnage was the comment by CBS's Billy Packer, known for his astute analysis [sarcasm implied], immediately absolving Henderson from any responsibility. Despite hundreds of replays, a few showing Henderson packing a sawed-off shotgun, Packer insisted the hit wasn't intentional.

If you haven't seen it, check it out here. Was Billy's monitor showing the same game? While Henderson was ejected and will miss at least one ACC tourney game, perhaps CBS should consider having Packer take a break from broadcasting a few games. At the very least, a trip to the optometrist would seam in order.

For more insight, read my neighbor Dustin reaction to the play-by-play.

It's Over

I looked back at some of my posts this time last year and noted that I had much to say about the state of Cincinnati Basketball. Compare that to this year as I'm not sure if I've even brought them up this year. I felt I should at least make a note of it as the Bearcats season came to an end this afternoon in West Virginia. There will be no postseason tournament. Nor did they even qualify for their conference tournament. Calling it a rough season would be an understatement. This rebuilding year brought the program's worst season since the early 80's and featured the longest losing streak since 1924. Just two players returned this year: one who would've come off the bench of a good team and one who might have [emphasis: might] been able to walk on if he went to a local high school. It was miraculous that Mick Cronin got them to double digit wins this year.

Still, almost two years later, there are those in town reeling of what went down with Bob Huggins. These people are going to regret if they don't get back on board with this team. This season's struggles will be the seed for a program on the rebound. Kids will want to play for Mick in Cincinnati; they're a Big East team in a nice-sized market with excellent facilities. I wholeheartedly believe that this team has a bright future. So now we can put this past year and the many thrashings behind us.

At least for the Bearcats, next year starts tomorrow.

Whose Big Game Is It?

I find it a tad disconcerting that while we're in March, with college basketball approaching its apex and baseball preparing to start its season, that ESPN still leads with NFL stories. I wish they would take a breather and allow us to enjoy some other sports for at least a couple of months. Maybe the following story will encourage us to get over the NFL.

It seems that the NFL is trying to trademark the phrase "The Big Game."

Apparently they aren't content with shutting down churches' parties. They're now going to shut down anyone who even wants to acknowledge that the game exists. Talk about the No Fun League. I understand trying to protect a trademark, but the league needs to get over themselves. But it might be done for them.

The Cal/Stanford college football rivalry has been known as The Big Game for more than 100 years. While the NFL claims it wouldn't take issue with their usage of the phrase, the colleges have begun litigation to fight the trademark request.

It should be noted that I am in the process of trademarking the following words:

• a
• an
• the
• is
• cheese
• formulamatic

If you're good to me, I might ignore your trademark infringement.

Misery Loves Company

Good thing you're clean, Beyonce. Hepatitis sucked. But at least you would've known where you got it from.

A year later, I remember it too vividly. I've never felt as sick.

Lost a lot of weight, though.

I've Got The Power

I've been suffering from a case of laptop power shortage. I came downstairs a couple of weeks ago to witness Kaelyn hiding the end of my Mac's power cord in her mouth. Wonderful. The new Apple laptop plugs are specifically designed with a magnet connection so that if you trip over the cord, it won't pull down the computer with it. Rather handy, but that makes it rather delicate; therefore Kaelyn's saliva and tongue didn't help the performance. Gradually, the cord began to function worse and worse until it would only charge on its side. Productivity went down this week.

But fortunately, I still had a few months left on the warranty. Picked up a new plug at the Apple store today. I've never enjoyed the little glow of the power cord so much.

Now, it's just a matter of keeping it away from the little girl.

Told You . . .

. . . that The Secret would blow up. From Publisher's Weekly: Simon & Schuster has placed the biggest reorder in its history for Rhonda Byrne's runaway hit, The Secret, going back to press for two million more copies. The books will be delivered to accounts over the next two weeks. The title—which offers wisdom from "modern-day teachers," as dubbed by S&S, on how to do everything from lose weight to get rich—got its big boost after Oprah Winfrey dedicated two episodes of her talk show to it in February. The new printing will bring total copies in print to 3.75 million.

Where I Am

OK, I have a lot of pots on the fire right now, so I thought I'd let you in on what I'm doing. First, things with Echo are great. We've had visitors every week this year sans one. And the visitors are clicking with what we're about. It's been a huge blessing. I've loved teaching to our group; I've never had so much fun preaching. And our core folk have done an incredible job of reaching out to our guests. God is good; very good, indeed.

Second, I've been accepted into the Graduate Theology Program at Xavier University. While I already have a Masters Degree from Cincinnati Bible Seminary, I was thinking about going back to school. After exploring the options available, I believe this was a good choice. My reasoning:

a) I learn best in a classroom setting. And this will be an opportunity to be in an environment where instructors and classmates probably won't share my theological leanings. I'll be forced to examine my beliefs even more critically.

b) I can complete the degree in a reasonable amount of time. They'll transfer six hours of my previous grad work and, if I do a thesis, that's leaves only 18 classroom hours. I could conceivably finish by the end of 2008.

c) I'm eligible for an incredible financial aid package so I won't have to take out any loans to get the degree.

d) Campus is only a five minute drive from our house. My commute is nothing.

e) I can still root for UC during the Crosstown Shootout. I think. If I can't, I won't do it.

So it looks like I'll be going back to school starting in May. Pretty crazy. But where I pick up something new, something else has to go. Therefore . . .

I resigned from my position on the Mayor's Young Professional Kitchen Cabinet. While I enjoyed aspects of the committee, there were aspects that I didn't anticipate. The vast majority of representatives are single, and none are pastors, so they have a little more discretionary time to use. I have no doubt that they'll be able to replace me with someone soon.

Overall, I'm happy with the way things are going in my life: Hot wife. Precious daughter. Great church. Rockin' job. Don't get better than this . . .

Why Bother?

No real comments from me about the whole "we-found-Jesus'-body" controversy. So nice of James Cameron to reveal this world-transforming discovery to the world; it's even more amazing considering that this was discovered in 1980. Do you think that if there was significant weight behind this find that it would have taken 27 years to hear about it? Cameron took advantage of The DaVinci Code phenomenon on looking to get his name back on people's lips. The reality is that this show will most likely be his personal Titanic. Nevertheless, I will DVR the Discovery Channel show and might then post about it.

If you're really worried about it, check out Asbury professor Ben Witherington's deconstructions of the issue. He does a great job examining the controversy.

Unpacking The Secret [Part Three]

This is the third part of an examination of The Secret. The first two parts are available here and here. Now that we've explored what The Secret looks like, what are we to do with it? Some of you who are Christian might think it's no big deal; it appears to be another passing fad. But I think many Christians will find The Secret attractive and attempt to implement aspects of it into their faith system.

I mentioned in a previous post that I watched an episode of Oprah where she rehashed The Secret. A woman who claimed to be a Christian expressed some reservations about these principles; the woman felt The Secret contradicted parts of her Christian beliefs. Oprah tried to assure the woman that you do both: adhere to The Secret and be a Christian. Ms Winfrey claimed it worked for her, and it could work for all Christians.

So are The Secret and Christianity compatible? After closely examining this belief system, I'm convinced that they are not.

The Secret comes across as positive and uplifting. It encourages people to make the most of their lives, to accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative. On the surface, this would seem to be a good thing- an opportunity for people to clean up their lives and develop a sense of accomplishment. Unfortunately, the suggested path and goals of The Secret are rather anti-Biblical; it's the antithesis of the Christian faith.

There are numerous reasons as to why The Secret is harmful for followers of Christ and a hollow spiritual path. Allow me to offer up three for now.

1) The Secret elevates materialism as the goal for living. Supporters might want to refute this, but it seems to be the main selling point. Throughout the film the were references as to how The Secret could transform your life by providing you with whatever you want. To illustrate the point in the movie, they even do a short segment about a boy who imagines getting a bike. Eventually, his grandfather brings by a bike.

You can find numerous texts within Scriptures that speak against materialism [Matthew 19:16-30 is a good starting point]. But despite it's anti-Biblical tendency, does it make the world a better place? If the focus on your faith system is your personal well being and fortune, it doesn't leave much hope for the rest of the world. Which brings us to . . .

2) The Secret suggests that we set ourselves up as gods. According to its principles, you become the most important being in your universe. Teachers may claim that you need to use the universe which is the greater power but, in reality, you're the one calling all the shots. You choose what you want. Secret teacher James Arthur Ray claims, "Put any label on [the Universe]; you choose the one that works best for you," i.e., you're in charge. Esther Hicks puts it even more bluntly as she teaches teaches, "You are eternal beings, you are God force, you are that which you call God."

This is the difference between egocentric theology and theocentric theology. When you're focus is on yourself, you're an idolater and you aren't worshipping God; you're not bringing Him glory.

3) The Secret promotes a hedonistic worldview. The Secret encourages people to live however they see fit. In the movie, we are told that there are two types of thoughts: good and bad. We're supposed to dwell on good thoughts and avoid bad thoughts. Interestingly enough, one of the negative thoughts listed was guilt. So The Secret teaches guilt is a negative thought to be avoided. While most of us are uncomfortable with guilt, it is usually rightly deserved; it's your conscience kicking in as a reaction to sin. So while Christianity teaches that will need to react positively to guilt, The Secret teaches that it's to be ignored as negativity.

Esther Hicks adds, "the better you feel, the more in line you are." Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret urges viewers to "give thought to what you want . . . and only focus upon that." Again, when we're only focused on fulfilling our own desires, we're not in line with the will of God.

An additional warning here for Christians examining their spiritual walks. This past week I happened to tune into a television evangelist who was smooth and encouraging. As he spoke words that he claimed were the words of God, it was actually more reminiscent of things I've heard while watching The Secret film. There is no difference between The Secret and the flawed Name it/Claim It theology. If this is how you view God, like some huge blessings pinata that you beat to get what you want, then you ought to reexamine your faith.

There will always be issues and fads that force us to think critically about our faith. We may feel challenged and uncomfortable, but it's an important step in our personal growth.

Unpacking The Secret [Part Two]

This is part two of my three part examination of The Secret. I'd suggest reading part one before digging in here. The Secret wasn't marketed using conventional methods but took advantage of viral advertising means. It is available in both book and movie form. Reinforcing my selective book purchasing policy, I decided to watch the movie [isn't that the American way, anyway?]. So I carved out an hour-and-a-half of time to check it out. The film is a mixture of interviews with proponents of The Secret interspersed with dramatic reenactments.

From an artistic perspective, it isn't the worst thing I've ever seen, but it's pretty close. It was a mixture of cheap CGI effects and green screen interviews. The acting in the reenactments was reminiscent of a Lifetime movie. And there was a hint of The Da Vinci Code as they showed the mythological myth being passed down dramatically from generation to generation [note: I say mythological because its defenders offer up even less evidence than Dan Brown pretended to]. Rhonda Byrne, writer of The Secret, first offers up an excerpt of her journey towards discovering The Secret. She explains that she searched the world over for teachers who knew The Secret [apparent the search was limited to English speaking countries]. Byrne then allows the teachers to explain The Secret to the masses.

The movie begins with the teachers explaining the Law of Attraction and how it affects the world we live in. Esther Hicks*, author of The Law of Attraction: The Basic Teachings of Abraham, instructs listeners of the two basic feelings that we have: good and bad. It's instant karma- the kind of thoughts you're putting out there is the kind of return the world will give you. So as people look to expand their share of the universe, they need to follow the three step creative process behind The Secret: 1) Ask for what you want 2) Wait for the universe to Answer and 3) Receive what the universe offers you. Hicks assures, "You are the creator of your own reality."

Included in the film were testimonies of business men who claim to have used the Secret for significant financial gain. Also profiled was Morris Goodman, a man who survived a horrible plane crash and beat the odds to walk again. The inspirational stories are retold to lend credibility to the power of positive thought.

Dr Joe Vitale, a motivational speaker, is the pragmatic Secret teacher who instructs viewers on how to approach the universe. He advises viewers that when you live your life by the Secret, "The universe becomes your catalogue and you choose what you want."

The movie spends 90 minutes rehashing self-help/power of positive thinking principles cliches in digestible sound-bytes; it's basically a "You can do whatever you imagine" love-fest. I can only imagine that the book is similar in nature.

Now that we've looked at what The Secret media blitz, what does it mean to the Christian? I'll attempt to deconstruct it in the next post.

*Apparently Esther Hicks didn't appreciate the aggressive marketing surrounding The Secret and his since parted ways with the movement.

Unpacking The Secret [Part One]

One of the struggles of ministering in a small[er] church is keeping up-to-date on religious fads. It's critical that pastors be knowledgeable of the latest thing coming down the turnpike. When I was at the ole' megachurch, it was easier because I always had people knocking on my door asking about the new trends. Now, I'm forced to be more deliberate, seeking out info on the internet. Twice last week, someone asked for my thoughts about The Secret. Having no idea what they were referring to, I had to do some independent research on the topic. The Friday before last Oprah devoted an entire show to The Secret. She did a follow-up show last Friday which I DVR'd and watched this week. Oprah claims that The Secret has been the driving force behind her worldview for the past twenty years. She believes that she knew The Secret but never heard to it systematized like it has been recently.

If for no other reason, then, we Christians should familiarize ourselves with The Secret. For better or worse, Oprah is the spiritual voice of our country. And she's quite the evangelist. People you know will start buying in to this, if they haven't already. So we all should do some background work on this. I'll do my best to break down what I've learned here on my blog over the next few posts. I don't claim to be an expert, I'll do my best to give a fair treatment of the subject.

So just what is The Secret? The Secret is actually the New Age principle of the Law of Attraction. This law states that "you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your destiny." Perhaps you've heard of the power of visualization- athletes that visualize themselves winning supposedly perform better during the actual competition. That's basically the Law of Attraction, but you're supposed to harness the powers of the universe in order to get what you want. So the thoughts that you send out into the universe is what you'll yield, ergo, just think good thoughts and good stuff will happen to you [and to the rest of the world].

An Australian named Rhonda Byrne developed the concept of The Secret, citing several modern day New Age teachers as possessing it. Byrne also claimed that many people over the course of history had knowledge of it even, in instances, unbeknownst to them. She claims that Winston Churchill, Plato, Isaac Newton, Martin Luther King Jr, and Henry Ford are just few people from throughout history that knew The Secret.

Byrne released both a book and a movie in 2006 entitled The Secret and the movement has been well received. In addition to Oprah, Larry King and Ellen DeGeneres featured it on their shows.

I'm thinking that this will be a big year for the Secret. With that in mind I'm going to try to post two more parts on this topic. In my next post, I'll point out some of the things mentioned in the movie that I found interesting. In the third part, I'll offer an overall critique.

Do yourself a favor and get familiar with The Secret.

The Secret homepage USA Today article The Oprah Show

Bibliography

I'm a reader. I read recreationally, but do so in search of factual information. I'm preparing to be a contestant on Jeopardy in 2019. If they cancel the show before then, I guess I've been wasting my time. In previous years I was a book-hound, plowing through literature like it was Diet Coke. I've cut down on my literary consumption because I'm getting cheaper [I've never liked library books. Guess I'm a snob] and I'm more selective about what I'll read. I still read a ton, making the most of our internet connection; I get my money's worth absorbing voluminous information online. So I can feed my factual fixation without having to buy books.

In addition to my Biblical studies, I've read only two books this year. One was a book on church planting that testified that most of what we've done with Echo is wrong. The other was a book my mother-in-law got me for Christmas about the Crosley brothers that I finally finished today. Entitled Crosley, it was a 500-pager full of historical notation about the lives of these two influential Cincinnatians.

Powel and Lewis grew up in the College Hill area. Powel was the visionary, Lewis made the dreams a reality. They were responsible for innovations in radio, automobiles, refrigeration, and aviation. They're perhaps most well-known for their ownership of the Cincinnati Reds. If the Crosleys hadn't owned the team, it could very easily ended up in New York or Houston. It's a fascinating read for people interested in the shaping of Cincinnati during the first half of the twentieth century. The more you know . . .

Britney Shears

Let's all do our society a favor and stop caring. I'm not talking about dismissing the things that truly matter: there are plenty of serious issues out there worthy of our attention[ I won't list any of them her because, "If you have it, you don't need it. If you need it, you don't have it."].

But if we all could agree to show unanimous disinterest about celebrity gossip, the world would be a much better place. Why I was engaged in a conversation tonight with a bunch of educated adults concerning Britney Spears' freshly shorn cranium is beyond me. It's the byproduct of a lazy, sensationalizing media, and my naive viewership.

I've never met these celebrities, but I know more about them than I do my own friends. And it's not like I go out of my way to learn this information. It's presented to me in easy-to-digest chunks whenever I'm watching TV or on the I\internet.

I blame the media because even reputable news sources [Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Entertainment Tonight, etc,] are now reporting this crap. But if there wasn't demand from the paying public, they wouldn't keep throwing it in our faces. So we have to make the first move, unite as one, and ignore this journalistic cotton candy.

So let's forget about Paris Hilton's latest after-school special. Don't worry about who's Anna Nicole Smith's baby's daddy. And unless it's Buzz Aldrin giving me Pampers for Kaelyn, I vow to know nothing about astronauts and diapers.

This world could be a better place if we only try.

Did I mention that I'm still ticked that Jessica Simpson screwed over Nick Lachey?