Explaining the Stages

Kaelyn turns two months old on Sunday. Even though she's a little bit away from huge developmental stages, she's gaining weight and size everyday. But besides those changes, she's clockwork- as predictable as death and taxes. ***quick note here: I thought for five minutes for another phrase to finish "as predictable as" and came up zeros. I wished to avoid it seeing as my taxes are never predictable- especially now that I live in the city limits- and there are people in the Bible that didn't die. Just thought I'd let you know.

Anyway, Kaelyn goes through four different stages in three hours time. Here's what it looks like:

1) Going Crazy This is when I claim that Kaelyn takes after her mother. Out of nowhere, the baby emerges from her slumber with flailing arms and legs, as if she's trying to escape her skin. This is the stage that produces the most crying, because she is desperately hungry. It's interesting that Kaelyn goes from serene to loco in thirty seconds in stage one. By far the shortest of the stages, if we're talking on the phone when it happens, you'll want to end the conversation.

2) Feed Me, Seymour At the beginning of this stage, Kaelyn assaults the bottle with fury; she's on a mission, knowing exactly what she wants. Her eyes are huge, rarely blinking. She eats at a consistent pace: suck, suck, squeak. It's during this stage that we'll stop the feeding for a moment to change her diaper because she's come down from stage 1. We try to give her a good burp which sometimes yields a spit up. The worst is when it comes out her nose. Not because she dislikes, but you can't predict it coming. Last week a milk projectile from her nose ended up in my mouth. Not good.

3) Mellow Yellow I'm not suggesting that my daughter will ever experiment with marijuana but, if she does, this is what she'll look like. During this stage I plug in our lava lamp, turn on some Jim Morrison and light some incense. Kaelyn makes some more squeaking sounds while freely moving her appendages as if looking for a pinata. It's pretty crazy; not as crazy as stage one, but still crazy nonetheless.

4) Enter Sandman Usually, within a half hour of eating, she's ready to dose off. She loves sleeping on her stomach [more on that in another post], so we try to let her fall asleep on us, making the transition to the bassinet. She'll babble for a few minutes and, next thing you know, she's gone. And then you breathe, knowing that she'll be back to stage one in a few more hours.

I know she'll grow out of this soon, but at least, for now, we know what to expect.