An Olympic-Sized Joke

Attention American Olympians: The USOC has asked me to inform you of a fact they that thought you already knew:


If you know this fact, you're not acting like it.

It's rather unlikely that all of you immigrated to the US, so you should know that only one thing matters to us Americans:


But apparently winning just isn't a big deal to some of you. First there are Bode Miller and Jeremy Bloom who made statements that winning medals isn't as important as the Olympic experience [tell that to your sponsors and see what they say]. Then there is men's figure skater Johnny Weir who, after falling from a sure silver medal to fifth place, blamed a late bus ride, bad vibes, and feeling "black inside."

And now, our friend, Lindsey Jacobellis.

Jacobellis was competing earlier today in the first women's Olympic snowboardcross final [Is it just me or are they just making up events as they go?] This "sport" consists of people racing through a snowboard track. Lindsay had the event sewed up. The gold medal was hers. She was excited about the victory, so she decided to get some big air, do a little trick, and grab her board during the final jump. Unfortunately, she bit it.

This wouldn't be too bad if not for the fact that THE RACE WASN'T OVER YET! She lost her gold medal and was forced to take home silver. They just showed the tape of the race on NBC. Her lead was massive. She said she was just trying to stabilize herself, but that's damage control. It was no accident she lost; it was just a case of her showboating.

And these, proud Americans, are the Olympians we sent to represent us in Torino.

While we want to be embarrassed by them, it might actually be an accurate representation of what our country has become:

1) We are a country of excuse-makers, justifying all our screw-ups. Instead of taking responsibility, we're looking for something or someone to blame. And not only do we make excuses, we do it preemptively so we have that defense in advance.

2) We are a country of glory hounds, always lauding our own accomplishments. It's no longer enough to get the job done, but it must be done with panache. I have to point my finger in your face. I have to pump my fist. I have to thump my chest.

How sad is it that, in order to get back on track, the voice of reason becomes eccentric Oakland Raiders Al Davis. His rather American mantra: "Just win, baby."

Maybe this Winter Olympics will be worth something afterall: it'll provide a scary reflection of what we Americans have become.