Calling It Quits

Call me a girl, but I died a little inside when I heard.

I thought about calling in sick to work, but I knew I had to press on.

I still haven't regained my appetite, so I'm force-feeding myself.

Yes friends, Nick and Jessica are calling it quits.

Just in case my daughter decides to read my blog ten years from now and wonders who Nick and Jessica are, that's Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. They had a pretty good reign as the Hollywood "It-Couple." I'm sure no one saw it coming . . . well, except for anyone who's ever watched an episode of Newlyweds. You knew it was doomed from the start. The driving force behind the show's popularity wasn't the blonde's good-looks, but her knack of saying the most ridiculous things. Gimme a moment to share some of Jessica's gems:

"I have to go drop some kids in the pool."
"No thanks. I don't eat buffalo."
"Well 23 is old! It's almost 25, which is almost mid-twenties."
"'Platypus?' I thought it was pronounced, 'platymapus.' Has it always been 'platypus?'"


Of all the Top Gun songs for Jessica to cover, it would've been more apropos for "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling." I blame her.

Call me a homer, but my heart is with the Cincinnati guy here. For those of you who didn't know, Lachey is from town here, attending the School For The Creative and Performing Arts. He's a huge UC fan [Losing to Dayton?!?! At Home?!?! I miss you, Huggins!], and claims that there's no place in the world like Cincy.

So considering this split-up, there's now the chance that Nick might leave L.A. and move back here to town, I'm sending this personal invitation out to Mr Lachey:

You are cordially invited to Echo Church. We meet in Walnut Hills on Sunday nights. If you come, we'll allow you to perform special music. Just no 98 Degrees songs, por favor. Maybe Via Dolorosa or something churchy like that.

Now that I've gotten this out, I'm feeling better. I think I'll survive this break-up. I feel like eating a turkey sandwich.