I Must Not Be Sure

I don't like hand motions to songs.

Back in the day, growing up in church, we had the ultimate motion song: I'm In The Lord's Army. We learned it in junior church when I was five and requested to sing it throughout the years of my Christian rearing. While singing this song we were able to imitate a bomber plane and artillery cannon all in the name of Jesus. True, it probably wasn't Biblical, but it made us excited about combining our passion for killing people and God. I guess that's why you don't see it sung in churches today. Against The Lord's Army, no other song with motions is able to compare; it's the H-bomb of motion song. I wonder if the guy who created the movements to Lord I Lift Your Name On High was a pacifist who had disdain for The Lord's Army.

This week I'm at VBS surrounded by almost a thousand children participating in hand motions for the songs we sing. I'm left with a dilemma. I can't be that adult male who thinks he's too cool to do the motions and not participate at all; I'd look like a jerk. At the same time, I'm not going to get overtly hyped-up and go loco doing the Christian Macarena. So I settle for the middle ground, doing the motions, but not enthusiastically. Some have criticized me for not getting into the motions more but I say, "leave me alone." Here I set up my headquarters. Do not force me to participate with your hand motions or I will declare a jihad.

I'm glad the kids like it. Personally, I'm ready for The Lord's Napalm.