Allow me the opportunity to disrespect my southern roots. What the crap is up with NASCAR? Isn't this sport the biggest sham going?

They penalize numerous teams for cheating before the Daytona 500 so that all the other teams get the message: cheating is bad. Then they run the qualifying for the pole position and Jeff Gordon wins. But in a post-race inspection they discover that his quarter panels were too low. NASCAR officials admit that it probably happened accidentally during the race, but still he went from first position to last position to start Sunday's race. Makes me want to watch cars going in circles really fast.

Gordon was cool about it, though. Remember that Jeff is hated by true NASCAR fans because he's the sophisticated, educated racer. His interview after being penalized shows his intellectual depth:

"It was nice to get out there and just go racing. I've been glued to the TV as much as anybody else over all this stuff. Between that and Anna Nicole Smith, I couldn't pull away."

NASCAR and Anna Nicole Smith: the working man's cocktail.

The whole thing is backwards, if you ask me.