Feliz Cumpleanos!

Happy Birthdays are out today . . . - To elder my brother, Chris-toff [remember The Truman Show?], turning the double "3". You are now as old as Jesus was when he died. Congrats.

- To Duebber, worship leader at Impact, now halfway through his twenties. To you I say, life gets no better, you are beginning to deteriorate, so pray for death.

-To Martha Hill, mother of Emily and Melissa, turning a distinguished. . . yeah, I'm not that dumb. I'll just save the sarcastic remark so you still think I'm a gentleman.

-And to my nephew Samuel [a day early], hitting a nickel. Since you're unable to read yet, I say to you, "Your father is wasting away your college fund at Argosy with your imaginary family, so pee on his computer."

Aren't birthdays a blast?