I Don't Swim In Your Toilet . . .

I left Kelly at the hospital this afternoon so I could return home and get ready for our prayer gathering. I spent about two and a half hours in the NICU; I keep feeling better and better. Anyway, I hit a red light at the intersection of Dorchester and Reading, where there's a little garden area on the side of the road. I noticed a man standing by the landscaping, staring down at it intently. I then noticed a stream being projected from his midsection.

Yes friends, the guy was peeing on the garden.

Now this wasn't the first time I have witnessed public urination in an urban setting. I grew up going to church in Price Hill so you could say I have a unique understanding of the communal whiz. But here's what I found puzzling about this gentleman I observed this afternoon:

1) It was in broad daylight. If you are going to take a leak out in the open, it's best to wait until after hours. If it was night, this guy could've gone on the sidewalk and the cover of darkness would've made it too difficult to discern what he was doing.

2) It was during rush hour. The clock hit 5:00 as I was driving through the intersection. This is the busiest time of day for this particular intersection. Seriously, any other time of day and fewer cars drive by. This guy picked the ultimate drive-time in which to let loose.

3) There were acceptable alternatives available. This little garden area butts up to a wooded area. Accessing the wooded area only required an additional six steps and would've allowed optimal coverage.

So even now, I'm confused. I wish I had rolled down the window and asked the guy why he decided to micturate before all God's people next to that landscaping. But any guy crazy enough to tinkle on a garden in broad daylight would most likely be crazy enough to kill me. So maybe I made the right decision in not asking, but this will most definitely haunt me for years to come.

And to think: I get gun-shy in airport bathrooms . . .