Steve Secret Three

I pee a lot.

I don't mean to alarm you: it's not that I have a health problem or anything. It's the result of my drinking a lot of caffeinated fluids and having a small bladder.

As I've admitted before, I drink Diet Coke like it's . . . well, water. Yes, I've had to fall back on drinking Diet Pepsi or Mountain Dew during the day because Panera is a Pepsi store. It's not that I need the caffeine to stay away from headaches or wake me up, I just don't like the taste of decaffeinated drinks.

But once I start hitting the beverages, I need a restroom trip in a half an hour. Yep, I've got a tiny tank. I even find myself waking up at night having to tinkle [yeah, I said "tinkle." How many other synonyms can I use? No one wants to keep reading "pee" and "urinate" is too formal]. Whenever I'm driving on a long trip or in a seminar or something like that, I monitor my liquid intake so I don't have to hit the bathroom as frequently. But if I know I'm near a bathroom, I'll drink all day. Even as I write this I'm toking a 32-ounce fountain drink. Guess where I'll be in half an hour?

Make fun of me if you like, but there's a bathroom down the hall.