The Great Outdoors

Kelly's been excited all week. Not about the move, nor my recent haircut. No, Kelly's pumped because it's time for ESPN's Great Outdoors Games.

For some reason my wife, who grew up in Lexington, Kentucky rather than northern South Dakota, is absolutely enthralled by this event. It started three or four years ago when she first saw the big air dogs. These are the dogs that sprint down a dock and jump off the edge to see who goes the farthest. After that, she started tuning into other events. By last year, she had taped all of ESPN's coverage of the games. As long as I've known her, I've never seen an addiction like this. And unfortunately she's a pusher; she making me into an addict as well.

There's a whole slew of events to watch from Archery to Timber Climbing, from the Hot Saw to Four Wheel Frenzy. And I think they might have finally gotten rid of fishing which would be awesome. Yeah, I'm fishin'-hatin'. It's the dumbest stuff on television. I know, I watch golf on TV, which some might find incredibly boring, but how much worse is it to watch fishing? How about having to listen to this dialogue:

Fisher 1: Catch anything?
Fisher 2: Nope. You?
Fisher 1: Nope . . . catch anything yet?
Fisher 2: Not yet. You?
Fisher 1: I think this might be it.
Fisher 2: Well then, reel it in.

End scene. Multiply that by fifty and you have an entire fishing show. I rest my case.

I don't get into the dog events that much, but I love the log rolling. I swear, if it were possible at all, I'd try to become a log rolling competitor. It's not that I think it's easy, but I think that would be the easiest event to jump into having never done it before. In that same category, there's an event called the boom run, where competitors run across logs in a relay. It's pretty cool [or, dare I say, "hip"]. So if someone has a log and swimming pool to use, I just might get into it.

If you have some free television viewing time this week, might I suggest the Great Outdoor Games? Kelly promises you won't regret it.