Californiaction

In case you've been hiding under a rock, the Michael Jackson verdict came in yesterday: not guilty on all counts. That's ten separate counts, with a few having lesser counts underneath them- so there were plenty of opportunities to nail him on something. They couldn't even get him guilty of jaywalking. Since I sat in my driveway yesterday afternoon listening to the verdict on the radio in my car, I guess you could say it effected my life and therefore is blog-worthy. The end of this trial leaves me with one simple question: What is up with prosecuting attorneys in California?

I found it fascinating that, on Good Morning America, one of the jurors sincerely thought Jackson was a child molester but couldn't vote guilty in this case because the prosecution failed to prove their point. Did these guys learn nothing from the O.J. Simpson trial? Prosecutors in that case presented DNA evidence PLACING O.J. AT THE SCENE OF THE CRIME and he still got off scott free. We all spent months back in 1995 watching that media circus. I remember sitting in my dorm room in utter amazement as the Juice was let loose. So if you're these guys trying to nail Michael Jackson, I think you'd be pretty sure you had an air tight case before you pulled the trigger on it; there was no room for error. And after years of the prosecutor searching for the right case to try Jackson on, they pick one where the family has a history of frivolous lawsuits. That's just wonderful. Somewhere the ghosts of Christopher Darden and Marcia Clark still cry out in vain, "Don't let him try on the gloves!" And Michael grabs his never-regions and yells in a falsetto, Thriller-esque voice, "Woo-Hoo!"

I'm not sure if Michael was actually guilty of the charge, but you have to admit that he's guilty of doing icky things. Do you think any other adult anywhere in America could share a bed with children and not do prison time? Great message sent with this verdict. But I don't think you can blame the jury on this one.

I have friends who are lawyers, so I want to apologize in advance if this comes across as offensive. If I hadn't entered the ministry I most likely would have gone to law school, so it needs to be understood that the following thoughts aren't directed at all lawyers, but to a select few. Those government lawyer out on the west coast must not be too bright. Therefore, if I ever have the desire to commit a crime, I'm definitely doing it in California. Apparently no one goes to prison there, because the prosecuting attorneys have no idea what they're doing. So if you see me on Fox News some afternoon, barreling down a California freeway because I just knocked-over a Seven-Eleven, fear not. I'll be out in a few months.

I mean, it's California for crying out loud. "Woo-Hoo!"