Ta-da! How To Pray

Our church is in the midst of 40 Days of Prayer. It's been a very rewarding time, as I don't think I've ever focused on prayer this much in my life. Usually I've prayed most ardently when there's a major decision that needs to be made, but these past weeks has pushed me way beyond that. I'll admit that I've never really struggled that much with how to pray, but I know there are many people that are frustrated because they have no idea. Yeah, there's that whole A.C.T.S. acronym [I always forget what that first "A" stands for], but I've never found that quite as memorable. So last week as we were studying the Pattern of Prayer, I decided to see if I could create a new pattern to approach prayer that might be a little easier to remember. So here's what I came up with: T.A.D.A.! I know, it's not quite as Biblical sounding as A.C.T.S, but it sounds like you've had an epiphany, which IS Biblical. Maybe it'll help.

The background text I used to come up with this is II Chronicles 6:12-42. It's Solomon's prayer of dedication for the temple. Why this? Check out I Corinthians 6:19 where Paul writes that our bodies are the temple of God. Boo-yah [still like to use that phrase]. So here's the pattern:

Step 1: Thanks
Verses 14-15
Our first thoughts in prayer should always be directed towards praising God for the good he does in our lives.

Step 2: Apologize
Verses 22, 24, 26,36
Solomon understands the concept of sin. In today's world, it's not very PC to admit sin. We're now living in a rather grace-heavy world. But the point of all the sacrifices that would be made in the temple was to make things right with God. We need to make things right with God by asking forgiveness when we do Him and others wrong.

Step 3: Dwell
Verse 41
Solomon had just built a house where he wanted God to dwell. As Christians, God already dwells within us. This should be a time to pray to conform our will to that of God's. Everyone always asks "How do I know if I'm in God's will?" There's no better way to get there than to pray about it. This whole will of God discussion is something we can go more in-depth about latter.

Step 4: Ask
Solomon's prayer here is peppered with petition. When you go through the T.A.D.A in order, the emphasis on our requests is the last thing we think of when we pray. Hopefully, by the time we get to this point our requests are no longer selfish, but sincere, God-centered desires laid before him.

Honestly, I don't get into pattern and stuff like this, but I've realized that many people need it to get along. So I offer this up as something to think about. If it works for you, fine. If not, just keep praying. I like to.

Mr Red #2 Was Always My Pick

There's this UC student who has been sitting in line for Reds Opening Day Tickets since Monday. Some of the local news stations are proclaiming him the biggest Reds fan. Call me jealous, but that's a bunch of bunk.

The guy's in college. He's got nothing better to do than skip class and sit outside and wait in line[oh, and news flash, buddy: chances are your professors just might recognize you from all the media exposure you've been getting]. Also, he's obviously not working while he's out there [he said on the news that he's missing work, but I'm sure he's not putting in 40 hours a week anyway], so mom and dad are probably footing the bill for him to "show his devotion" to the Reds.

I'm just not buying him as being the biggest Reds fan. The level of true devotion should be directly proportionate to the sacrifice being offered. If this guy was 40 years-old with three kids, unable to take vacation time and sitting in line for tickets, that would be impressive [stupid, but impressive]. But no love from me for this guy.

Pete Rose rocks!

Valentine's Day Mascara

You might be wondering how Kelly and I celebrated Valentine's Day. This is how the evening worked out: We got home from work, ordered Donatos Pizza, she talked on the phone with a couple of friends while I messed around with my guitar and watched college basketball. Pretty romantic, huh? But at the end of the night we remarked that it was a great evening together.

The way people approach Valentine's Day has always puzzled me. Around the office yesterday their were jokes going back and forth about how you better have a card or a gift ready for your sweetie or you're dead meat. Kelly and I have never really been like that. And I know that some of you are thinking, "Ha! It probably IS like that and Steve's oblivious. Kelly's gonna kill him someday." Well, you might be right on the last part, but I promise, I've probably only given Kelly a Sweetest Day gift once. And she doesn't complain. We do little things here and there throughout the year to show each other our love. Using one day to make up for what you haven't done the rest of the year is so Hallmark.

Here's the shocker: we actually love being with each other. That's why we got married in the first place. And we're working on our seventh year of marriage, so don't throw all that newlywed crap at me either. God has given me the perfect person to appreciate the way I am and the way I live life. I figured that before we got married and that's why my life rocks. Sure we have arguments and our relationship isn't always storybook, but at the end of the day, we know how to love each other. So Happy Valentine's Day, Kel. Yeah, it's a day late, but you know how I am.

A Grammys Review

I don't know if I ever really watched the Grammys before I got married. Then again, I'm not sure that I watched any kind of awards shows before we were married. But overall, I'd say I like to watch the Grammys the most. I love all kinds of music, so I end up like a kid in a candy store. A lot went on, so I'm not gonna write too much about everything, but here are my quick thoughts about what went on:

The introduction number was pretty cool. Could've done without the Gwen Steffani number; it just seemed out of place. It was a great mix of talent [Black Eyed Peas, Los Lonely Boys]. Speaking of which . . .

Alicia Keys has an unbelievable voice. And surprisingly, so does Jamie Foxx. I knew he could play piano, but he did a great job singing. By the way, if you haven't yet, rent the DVD of Ray. But with the good comes . . .

Tim McGraw can't sing. And he had like three shots at it. Some people just need a studio mix to sound better, which reminds me . . .

What was up with that J-Lo/Marc Anthony thing? I've never really watched Spanish Soap Operas, but I guess that's what it's like. Maybe we were supposed to be impressed because it's their first public duet since they've been together, but I kept waiting for the stage to blow-up or something interesting to happen. But I got nada[notice my use of the espanol in honor of their song]. At least . . .

U2 and Kanye West Rock. 'Nuff said.

Green Day's all grow'd up. Well, sorta. But I'm finally gonna have to get a copy of American Idiot. Can't believe they won a Grammy. And to the recording academy I say . . .

Way to give Led Zeppelin a Lifetime Achievement Award. Yeah, and then show them for like two seconds. Good call. While I'm in this sarcastic mood . . .

Would you really buy that on I-Tunes? I'm all for supporting the tsunami relief, but the celebrity collaboration of the Beatles Nothings Gonna Change the World isn't worth the 99cent charge. It was rather painful to listen to. Also on the list of stuff I wouldn't buy . . .

Britney Spears won a Grammy. I found that out this morning. It was for best dance recording for her song Toxic. Glad I didn't know that last night. Could've ruined the whole experience. Yet perhaps even more disappointing . . .

Wouldn't Ray Charles have rather been loved when he was alive? How weird was it that the guy who won the most Grammys hasn't been alive for eight months? I have the utmost respect for what he contributed to the music community, but I guess it just plays into the old adage that you don't know what you've got till it's gone. It's sad that it took Ray's death for him to finally get full credit for his life's work.

Where There's Smoke . . . Part 2

Blogging has been a valuable learning experience for me. Like today God taught me a lesson and now you get to hear about it. But first, if you haven't yet, you need to read my previous post about cigarette smoking and responsibilty in order to understand what this post is about.

While I was out and about doing hospital calls this morning I got a call from the church telling me about a guy in the Intensive Care Unit at a local hospital. I walk in the ICU and there's an older gentleman lying half unconscious in a hospital bed with six or seven tubes running in and out of him. What was his problem? Severe emphysema. Now I don't know for sure, but I've visited people in the hospital before who've had it and almost all of them developed it as a result of smoking. A nurse was there treating him, using some sort of vacuum to suction stuff out of his throat. And the words of my blog post that I had typed hours earlier were running through my head.

Now thinking back to my other post: is it this guy's fault that he's suffering from this disease? Yes. Would I have the guts to call him out on it standing next to his hospital bed? No. Then why would I type about it? Because that's how I am. I'm a wuss. And that's how you probably are too. We're hard core about issues and stances that we have, at least until we come face to face with it. It's fun to be opinionated about things, until you have to deal with it in the flesh. "Get a job" I mutter under my breath. Then I meet the homeless man in person. I'll talk sports and bash on a steroid taking pro-athlete, but if our roads ever converge, I'll probably suck up to the guy. Yep, I'm a turd.

So sorry if I came across with a little edgy in that last post. As much as I want to be cool like that, I'm really not the guy. And I know I'll spout off like that again, and end up right where I am now- prying my foot out of my mouth. Humans are more than hypothetical situations. They have names. They're people lying in a hospital bed wondering what's become of their life. I'll try harder to remember that next time.

Where there's smoke . . . Part 1

Perhaps you think that being a Christian was the most unpolitically correct thing you can do in American society today. I would have to disagree. The worst possible thing you can be in American today is a smoker. The governor of Minnesota [who, by the way, is no longer an ex-professional wrestler] is trying to ban flavored cigarettes from the state. Part of a quote from Governor Pawlenty in this article really stuck out to me: "They [big tobacco] are clearly undertaking a marketing campaign . . . to attract new smokers." Hmmmmmm. I attended Bible College or a Christian University or something like that, so I might not be the best with economics, but let me at least give it a try. The point of a business is to make money. Those businesses must get people to buy their product in order to make money. With so many people quitting smoking today [and with the continued flow of court settlements] tobacco companies do need new people to buy their cigarettes. So they might want new customers who will buy their product. I guess the governor might be right on this one.

The real reason people are bent out of shape is because they say these flavored cigs are appealing to minors. I'm not too sure about that charge. But "save the children" has been a rally cry for this entire attack on tobacco companies. Yet last time I checked, it wasn't illegal for the tobacco companies to make and sell their product. Big tobacco has paid the price for the cover-up they made in the 50's, 60's and 70's: huge settlements and continued embarrassment. They've been putting serious warning labels on packs for almost twenty years now ["This product will kill you"]. We need to either make tobacco totally illegal or move on.

And what really blows my mind is that beer companies get off the hook. I guess the government recognized that prohibition was a debacle and they don't want to go there again, but alcohol-related incidents cause more problems in our society than tobacco. And aren't there still those lawsuits out there against McDonalds for making people obese? We'll blame anyone we can if it means we can make a buck.

I think this issue is less political and more a reflection of our society not wanting to be accountable. At some point we need to fess up for our own screw-ups. The next generation will continue to smoke Marlboros, drink Bud, and eat Taco Bell. Let's just see where that gets us in another twenty years.

It Takes A Village

A few weeks ago, we rented M. Night Shyamalyan's The village. We steered away from it when it hit the theaters because it received bad reviews. Once again, it was proven that movie critics aren't to be trusted, because Kelly and I thoroughly enjoyed the flick. True, Shyamalyan has had a lot to live up to since he made The Sixth Sense, but he always brings a form of creativity to the big screen that rarely comes from Hollywood. And Bryce Howard's [Opie's daughter] performance was fantastic. This is well worth the rental and was probably worth the ten bucks to see in the theater. I am sorry M. Night. I shalt not doubt thee again.

Here are some thoughts on why the movie didn't resonate with some reviewers and movie goers.

. . . And The Short Of It

It's a great day to live in Cincinnati . . . um, not by the looks of things outside this morning, but because this is Crosstown Shootout day. It's the basketball game of the year pitting the University of Cincinnati Bearcats verses the Xavier University Musketeers. If you know me at all, you know that I'm a huge UC fan, so obviously they're who I want to win tonight. It's not that I dislike Xavier; I even own various XU apparel [that I rarely wear]. But just for one game each season I want Xavier to lose.

So this morning I woke up a little early to go shoot some hoops [I hate that phrase] and I was looking for my basketball shorts. I have the authentic UC Jordan shorts from a couple years ago, BUT I COULDN'T FIND THEM. Of course the only ones I could find this morning were my Xavier shorts. So this left me with a dilemma: wear the XU shorts on the day of the Crosstown Shootout and possibly jinx the Bearcats or wear soccer shorts. I chose the former. So if by some possible means the Muskies pull it out tonight, it's my fault.

I'm so sorry Coach Huggins. I promise to do better next time.

Sure It's Blatant Commercialism, But For A Free IPOD?!?!

OK, I had a bad experience with multilevel marketing in college so I was somewhat skeptical when my buddy Noel told me the other day about a way to get a free-iPod. But he vouched that it was totally legit and after investigating the offer, I believe he's right. So I'm in. This company has already given away $4 million in free stuff and Noel's iPod will be shipped in five days. All you have to do is complete an online offer [anything from applying for a credit card to buying flowers to spending $1 on a trial monthly service you can cancel] and you're eligible. Then you get five friends to do the same and you're done. And if you already have an iPod, you can choose to get 250 free downloads from iTunes.

So here's all you need to do. Click this link to get signed up: http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=14939158 Please use this link so you can help me get mine. Then email [or blog] this info out to your friends and that's it.

You might think I sold out using my blog for this, and you're probably right. But come on, you know how cheap I am. And I swear I'll write something more meaningful soon.

Roman Numerals Rock!

Ah, another NFL season reaches its end and now we can focus our collective sports attention to college basketball [although I have a fantasy baseball draft in two weeks]. But before we move on, let's do some reflecting:

I. High-Def is definitely awesome. Our friends Noel and Pam from our Sunday School class hosted a bunch of us last night and his Christmas acquisition was a big-honkin' HD flat screen. This was the first time I've watched a sporting event in high definition. I do affirm that it was most excellent. In ten years it'll probably be the norm, but I will always remember when my eyes first witnessed the glory of its clarity.

II. The best commercial was the one with the cat. You know the one I was talking about: the guy cooking spaghetti sauce and the white cat knocks it over. He picks up the sauce-soaked cat while still holding a butcher's knife when his wife comes home. Quality. I think it was for some investment firm, and I'm not going to bother to look it up exactly who's commercial it was because thus is the stupidity of a Super Bowl commercial. Thanks for making me laugh, but the next day I don't remember what I was supposed to buy from you. Way to get your $2 million worth.

III. The Patriots aren't that good. I'm not saying they're bad, nor am I saying that they weren't worthy of winning a Super Bowl, but they're not 3 in 4 years good. Look at last night's game and you see that they just make fewer mistakes than their opponents. It was Philly's game for the taking but McNabb literally threw it away [need more Chunky Soup]. It's just ridiculous that now New England can join the list of the 60's Packers, 70's Steelers, 80's 49ers, and 90's Cowboys. Of course I'm a Bengals fan and am insanely jealous so take it for what it's worth.

IV. And finally, next year the Super Bowl numbers become interesting. You might have thought that next year's Super Bowl 40, would be Super Bowl XXXX. But that's incorrect since you can't have four of the same Roman numerals in a row. So you do that little subtracting thing and now we bring into the equation the numeral for 50 which is L. Think about next year when we have Super Bowl XL- that's right, an extra large Super Bowl. And in six years, Super Bowl XLV. Phonetically it spells "zelve." But the ultimate will be in eleven years from now: Super Bowl L. "Bowl-el, Bowl-el, Bowl-el, Bowl-el, born is the King of Is-ri-el." Whoever came up with the Roman numeral thing for Super Bowls must have known he'd be dead by this point and wouldn't have to worry about it. And in case you're really planning for the future, in 2056 they'll play Super Bowl XC, which is rather "EXY, sexy"

And now, five weeks till March Madness . . .

Take A Picture, It'll Last Longer

Yesterday we purchased a Canon Powershot A95 5-Megapixel Digital Camera. Now first, I need to point out that this is a purchase we've been waiting a long time to make - it all has to do with our Israel trip that's coming up in three weeks- so it's not like I'm one of those guys always buying next techie-toys [although I could be]. That being said, I did a lot of research about it and figured out that this camera was the most bang for our buck. Messing around with it has been fun; there's even a setting where you can take 360 degree panoramic views of places and software that will join it seamlessly. It's pretty crazy.

In a related note few weeks ago I read an article [I'd post a link to it, but I can't find it] claiming that the digital camera is altering the way we view our society. This is the thought process: remember when you used to go to Walgreens, pick up your developed photos and discover two or three bad pictures? There'd be anything from red or closed eyes, to bad angles that made you look 50 pounds heavier, to your index finger covering half the photo. You'd want to throw the bad photo away, but you paid so much to get it developed that you kept it anyway. Years later you were looking in your photo album, came across the picture and said to yourself, "Well that one really sucked." And all those around you chimed in agreement.

With the advent of the digital camera we're able to instantly delete photos that we don't like. Camera purists and even sociologists are beginning to worry that we're wiping away the imperfections from our society, creating an unrealistic view of who we are as people. You have to admit that this true. We already live in an airbrushed world where the most beautiful people we know, the ones paraded before us in movies, on television, and in magazines, are touched up to make themselves look even better. This has caused young people to become anorexic and bulimic and has propelled the plastic surgery industry into the stratosphere. So now we digital camera owners do the same thing that the entertainment industry does. Not wanting anyone to see us at our worst, we keep only the pictures we want to be seen. Fast forward to our children and our children's children who won't likely see our blemishes and mishaps. Are we setting future generations up to fail when compared to impossible expectations?

So I'm trying not to delete all my bad pictures. It's a little difficult, but I'll give it a go. I want to ensure that future generations know what a screw-up I really am. So far, I'm accomplishing my goal and I'll have the pictures to prove it.

State of My Union

The room is filled with all Steve's multiple personalities. Nice Steve who is kind to children on the right side of the aisle. Angry Steve who is mad at the way Jihad Muhammed runs point for the Bearcats on the left. Confused Steve is lying down in the aisle trying to do the worm. Then from among all voices, an old guy shouts from the back of the auditorium . . .

"Mr Speaker, President Steve!"

Amid thunderous applause President Steve makes his way down the center aisle, shaking hands to the right and to the left of him. Carefully stepping over Confused Steve, he makes his way to the lectern and waits for the cheering to subside. Finally, the President begins to speak.

"My fellow Steve Carr personalities, I am proud to present to you this evening the state of our union address. And I'm here to tell you that the state of our union is good."

Resume thunderous applause. When it again dies down, President Steve continues.

"This has definitely been a difficult year for all of us, but we are far better off now than we were four years ago. We haven't let ourselves got to pot like many married men our age; we can still play soccer competitively against college kids. We are more intelligent than we were four years ago; we read more than we watch television. And we have started a blog, giving all of us personalities a forum by which to express ourselves. My fellow Steve Carr personalities, the state of our union is good."

More applause. A standing ovation, even.

"But we must not rely on the past but look forward to the future. And as President, I will continue to lead us on to a brighter tomorrow. So these are the proposals I put before you: First, by 2007 we will enact legislation to force the Coca-Cola company to produce Diet Cherry Coke in fountain drink form. Second, we will form a bipartisan commission to figure out why we sorta like those Fanta commercials that they show before movies. Third, we will rearm our military by purchasing a fully automatic Air Soft gun and ruthlessly attack Al Qaeda [or high school kids] with them while purposely avoiding their dental work. Fourth, we will spread the concept of freedom among all our neighbors, encouraging them to sport a lawn mullet: cutting the grass short in the frontyard while leaving it long in the backyard. Fifth, we will ask the wife for legislative funding of $10,000 to buy a golf membership at an exclusive country club. If this is fails, we will see if she will at least let us play once a week. "

The right side of the aisle gives the President a standing ovation. The left side claps but stays seated because they're not going to suck up to a President in the other party.

"And finally we will continue to stay in shape so that we won't be that guy everyone points at during the class reunion. In order to accomplish this we will exercise more. We will worry less about sleep and wake up early to work-out. We will eat vegetables that taste like poo. We will consume bran in mass quantities and stay regular. We might even shop at Wild Oats."

Crickets. No one makes a sound. Then the President adds,

"Just kidding about that last one."

Standing ovation. President Steve exits the auditorium, shaking every hand he sees. Confused Steve eats the lectern.

He's Still Working On Me

Examine the following quotes:

"This is the map God made for me to be."
"God healed me."
"You're going to see a miracle."

Pretty inspiring, huh? It's always great for God-fearing people to put their faith and trust in Him. And it's even better when they let the whole world know it.

Or is it?

I hate it when they stuff an extra week between the NFL Conference Championships and the Super Bowl. It gives the media way too much time on their hands, and the hype runs wild. If you're at all interested in sports, then you've probably heard the biggest question surrounding this year's Super Bowl: "Will he or won't he play?" Wide receiver Terrell Owens of the Philadelphia Eagles severely injured his ankle a month ago in a game against the Dallas Cowboys. While his doctor said he would be out for the season, Owens contended that he would play in the championship game. At the Super Bowl media day on Tuesday, he dropped those quotes listed above. Apparently God wants T.O. to play in the Super Bowl, and play well.

Now obviously I'm not questioning the power of God to heal someone who was hurt in the way that Owens was. And I even understand that Terrell wants to make sure that God gets the credit for healing him; I respect him for that. But when you listen to what he says and the way he says it, it's almost as if Owens believes that his injury is a top thing on God's to-do list. It's tough to stomach those thoughts when, during the same time period that T.O. was injured, there was a tsunami that killed almost 200,000 people. Now say I'm not a Christian and I try to synthesize these two incidents. Does that mean that God cares more about a football player's injury than welfare of millions of people in South Asia?

There's always been for me an uncomfortable relationship between athletic competitions and Christianity. Most of the problem is with us followers of Jesus who are spectators. Many Christians like to point out when a successful athlete is also one of us. I've never understood that. Why do we need celebrities to legitimize our faith? You know that if T.O. plays in the Super Bowl and does well, Christians all over the country will be talking about what God did on that football field. It's all rather absurd. We preach against idolizing athletes, but even we'll do it if it makes us feel better about our chosen faith.

Does God care who triumphs in a game of Monopoly? Or does God answer the prayers for victory of participants in the World Series of Poker? Will the kingdom of God be better off if Owens puts up 150 yards and two touchdowns? And what if Owens plays a horrible game on Sunday? Was God absent? Or was he incapable of healing him? Lots to think about, but let's just remember what it is: a game. There are more important things in this world for God to worry about.

So if you know which team God wants me to root for, please let me know.

Because I got high . . . speed

Today's the day. After having to reschedule twice, our Road Runner was hooked up this morning. I'm writing this entry from my home office with the History Channel playing in the next room. We haven't had an internet hook-up at home in almost three years. We're not Wi-Fi, but a friend told me that it's a piece of cake to figure that out yourself [and a whole lot cheaper].

I did our taxes this afternoon and was then able to file our Ohio taxes online [$55 back from Governor Taft!!!]. It's a whole new world, and I'm really liking it.

Cracking The Top 25

Time magazine released their list of the 25 Most Influential Evangelical Christians in America. Just a few thoughts that hit me about this list:

1) The number of people on the list that were political. Almost half the people on the list had something to do with national politics. I guess that's what makes them influential, but are Christians ignoring the influential power of the gospel for power found within political realms?

2) The number of people on the list that I didn't know. I like to think that I'm pretty familiar with what's happening in Christendom. Apparently I don't. That Dave Barton guy [third picture on their list] came to our church a few months ago. I ran the sound system as he spoke. Wasn't wearing a cowboy hat when I saw him, though.

3) The fact that I didn't make the list. I don't know if I'm not influential enough or not an evangelical Christian. Maybe I would've helped my cause if I had a subscription to Time Magazine [used to have a subscription to Sports Illustrated]. I'll check with the editor of Time and see if it was an oversight.

Front Porch To The Ends Of The Earth

This morning a group of ten people left Christ's Church on a mission trip to Caracas, Venezuela for a week to assist our missionaries there.

A year ago today I was in Venezuela. It's hard to believe it was that long ago. It was such a rewarding experience: we were able to fellowship with Christian believers from another country, we helped complete some important projects at a summer camp for inner city youths, and I finally got my money's worth out of Ms. Riedmatter's high school Spanish. I look forward to returning there someday.

As I reflect on that trip, my fondest memory is a not-so-spiritual one. Antony was this college-age guy that I bonded with. He was a newer Christian from the church down there. I taught him how to play Euchre, which is really no big deal, but he didn't know a word of English. After two laborious nights of my broken espanol, he finally got it. The day I hugged him good-bye he had tears in his eyes. I wasn't expecting that and was surprised then when I felt a tear stream down my face. I had only known him for a week, and I had impacted his life. Isn't that the beauty of mission trips? They're a blessing to all involved parties. I'm sure I took away for than I gave.

I know if you've been a mission trip, you probably have a similar or even better story. Maybe if we viewed life as one big mission trip we'd enjoy life more than we ever imagined. Maybe we'd impact lives. Maybe we'd be able to change the world.

www.houseofcarr.com

I've been able to stick with blogging so I'm wadsing further into the water. I decided to purchase a domain name for easy direction to my site [it was rather inexpensive]. I'm going to continue to use the free server space provided by Blogger until I get even more serious and start paying for it. So since I know it isn't easy to spell Beit Carr, I decided to go with www.houseofcarr.com. Thanks for reading my musings.

Tribute to My Wife

Last night I was asked to introduce Kelly before she spoke to our church's woman gathering. I decided to write a poem-like intro. Some of them have special inside meaning and I promise that the first one is not meant to be perverted. That being said, here it is:

Kelly is . . .

Kelly is a hotel bed with multiple pillows- rest for my soul.

Kelly is Palm Springs- an oasis in the middle of a desert.

Kelly is Encyclopedia Brittanica- knowledgeable of many diverse subjects.

Kelly is the chorus of “How Great Thou Art” - a life sung in passionate, stirring harmony.

Kelly is Valentines Day- patient and kind, not envying or boasting.

Kelly is the Deluxe Edition of Spellcheck for Microsoft Word- always knowing what word to use.

Kelly is Barnabas- the perfect partner in ministry.

Kelly is the encouragement note written on the bathroom mirror- always lifting me up.

Kelly is a sit-com audience- a synthesis of hyperventilation, laughter and snorting.

Kelly is Bob the Tomato to my Larry the Cucumber- she will be your friend la,la,la . . .

Kelly is a bag of stuffed animals- tactile-icious!

Kelly is a stethoscope- always listening to the heartbeat of others.

Kelly is Fort Knox- worth far more than rubies.

Kelly is a cup of Diet Coke with four ice cubes- great taste with no calories.

Kelly is University of Kentucky basketball- likeable but sometimes obnoxious.

Kelly is October 23rd- an autumn day drenched in an ever-changing palate of colors.

Kelly is a softball laced into left center- a poetic mix of skill and hustle.

Kelly is an Academy Award- having a flair for the dramatic.

Kelly is what happens after the clicking stops- then the roller coaster descends the first hill.

Kelly is August 1st 1998- The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

My Type of Typing

So far this morning I've sent out 11 e-mails and only one of them of the short variety. This is a lot of work for me considering that I never really learned how to type. The only true regret I have from my days in high school is that I never took typing class. You see at good ole' Oak Hills High School they had weighted courses: AP Courses were level 1, College-prep courses were level 2, and everything from Wood Shop to Gym Class were levels 3 and 4. Typing was a level 3 class, which counselors told me would hurt my overall grade point average. So I never took it. I kept my 3.5 high school GPA [which slipped to 2.97 in college] and have been exercising my demented hunt-and-peck system ever since.

I can really produce despite this deficiency. What I do is let my right hand be dominant. With my right hand the first finger is dominant while my third finger [I guess you would call it the ring finger] is responsible for the ever important backspace button. I'll admit, if it weren't for the advent of the PC and the backspace button, I'd have a White-out addiction. My left hand is just along for the ride, with my pinkie hovering near the shift key. I guess the most important thing in this method is that in order for me to get on a roll, there's no way that my eyes can leave the keyboard. I know this goes against typing etiquette, but then again who cares? I'll put out a couple of sentences and then look up to see how I did. I mess up about one word every couple of sentences, so I grab the mouse and correct my mistakes [just for an example, I messed up the word "sentences" because I accidentally hit the "x" key instead of the "c"]. If anyone knows of a program to learn how to type on the computer, I'd be interested, but at the same time, isn't it too late to start over?

But maybe I'll have the last laugh. I mean, you got believe that in ten years or so there'll probably be no more keyboards left. We'll all dictate our words onto the screen via microphone. So there'll be no more typing and I'll still have my 3.5 gpa. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Perspective

I just bumped my elbow on the doorknob to my office. It was a clean hit to my funny bone and I've got that tingling sensation in my right forearm. "Ow. That sucks," I mutter under my breath. I hate it when anything happens to me; I have a knack of complaining about any inconvenience that comes my way.

I met this guy last night named Mike. He's a youth minister out in Mount Orab, Ohio. He's been sick for a few months and the doctors still aren't quite sure what it is. They've decided it's either some sort of lung infection or lung cancer. Either way, he's undergoing surgery next week to have the top part of one of his lungs removed. Now what I wish you could have seen is the matter of factness that Mike displayed in talking about his situation. His confidence in God was glowing throughout his being; he had a true faith that, whatever happens, there is One who is in control. It was amazing. Interestingly enough, as I shook his hand while saying good-bye, I got a papercut on my pinkie from a folder he was carrying.

Like most Americans, I'm obsessed with me [not "me" meaning Steve Carr, but "me" meaning themselves]. If it isn't happening to me, I don't care nearly as much. Which is worse: a severe paper cut or cancer? Unfortunately, if you're really honest with yourself, it usually depends on which one you've got. That papercut seems more real because I'm living through it. That's why God continually grants us perspective- the ability to look at life from a differing point of view. I need it daily. Perspective forces me to stop focusing on every minuscule detail of Steve and look at what others are going through. This exemplifies our need for other people in order to get along in this world. Without a network of people to offer perspective, you'll lift yourself up as the most important thing in this world- becoming an affront to God, worshipping yourself as an idol. Self-centeredness is a struggle, but it needs to be defeated.

My elbow doesn't even tingle anymore.